“By actual survey, Scientology parishioners are asking the WHY for why Scientology Media Productions is not broadcasting,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. “More than a few Scientologists have noted that Leah Remini has been able to broadcast an entheta show week after week — and even win an Emmy — while SMP sits idly by and does nothing about it, this despite Scientology’s motto that ‘Something Can Be Done About It.'”
“The answer is that the CST Deep Space Antenna Array in New Mexico has not yet received signal from the Founder on Target Two authorizing SMP to begin broadcasting.”
“An obscure clause in the Founder’s last will and testament requires his direct permission by Telex radio communication from T2 before ‘any Scientology entity may broadcast tele-vision or radio waves containing copyrighted Scientology content into the public airwaves.'”
“T2 is many light years away. SMP expects to get operational authorization from T2 in about 25,000 years,” Delusion noted. “And when we get that authorization, the station is ready to flip a switch and begin broadcasting. Until then, there are COB events and LRH Congresses to listen to for the next 25,000 years.”
What are they going to air? Where Shelly is? A perfect clear in Akron, OH?
Re-air the videos of Mark “violent psychopath” Rathbun?
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Dear Mr. Delusion,
It’s important to ensure that you’re on the correct wavelength to receive the communication from Source that you so eagerly await. There’s even a song mentioning you about the importance of this issue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWkMhCLkVOg
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“What’s the frequency Kenneth?” COB asked repeatedly as he beat the hapless Scientology spokesman. “And where did Shelly hide the gold?” A man obsessed, COB jumped into his Ford Pinto, a clever disguise, and headed for New Mexico where he was last seen drinking at the Tritium Kitty Kat, an out of the way bar where the locals meet.
SMP is also waiting to receive programming from the Marcab Federation. The Marcabs are trying to figure out how to deliver video by Telex. The Marcabs have promised an exciting TV series based on COB’s life, titled “My Life as a Parasite”.