“I want you to reach out and touch your hand to mine as a point of Theta contact,” said Reverend Tom Cruise on the first annual XenuVision telethon to raise money for […]
“XenuVision is the wave of the future!” exulted aging Chairman of the Bored Dr. David Miscavige. “Unlike wog television, XenuVision is fully ideal in every way! Our uncorrupted communication line to the […]
RTC Confidential: Burn After Reading.
Confederation Stardate 23 June 2016: COB is in hiding in a cheap hotel in Echo Park. He constantly obsesses about a billboard; his father’s book; his fading looks; and the ghost of […]
Scientology and the mixed messages it sends!
RTC SECRET INTERNAL MEMORANDUM: BURN AFTER READING Less than three weeks after Fleet Admiral David Miscavige opened Scientology Media Productions and ASI relaunched Battlefield Earth, the godless Russian Communists raided 14 Scientology […]
David Miscavige – Louis Farrakhan Telethon Sells Billions of Copies of Battlefield Earth!
“Thanks to the Battlefield Earth Telethon hosted by David Miscavige and Louis Farrakhan on Scientology Media Productions, billions of copies of Battlefield Earth were sold within the first hour of the […]
HowdyCon Pronounced an Illegal Criminal Assembly
— TO BE READ ALOUD TO THE ILLEGALLY ASSEMBLED HOWDYCON CRIMINAL ASSEMBLY BY THE DESIGNATED SP IN CHARGE— Acting in his capacity as Imperial Galactic Interstellar Emperor, RTC Chief Inquisitor, and Space […]
Battlefield Earth: Shelly Battles Terl!
Alien Spaceship Crashes in Hollywood!
“He just won’t stop talking!” exclaimed Ken Delusion, CO OSA INT Space Alien Incarceration Unit. “This alien blathers on and on and on all day and night and incessantly demands expensive scotch!” […]
Two Scientologists on the Same Day
While COB RTC David Miscavige’s dictatorship of the Church of Scientology is a fraudulent narrative from beginning to end, perhaps the clearest and most glaring lies concern his cover-up of his own […]
Announcing the New “Freedom From Oxygen Rundown”
“Guaranteed to crack any case, the new Freedom From O2 Rundown results in almost immediate unconsciousness followed by permanent full exteriorization within a few minutes,” enthused Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “As COB […]