“Psychiatry’s sixty-three year nonstop campaign of terror against the Church of Scientology has sunk to a new low!” exclaimed Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion at an emergency press conference held today […]
David Miscavige Donates $67,000 to Portland Police Dept!
COB RTC David Miscavige is the single most important being in the universe. He is more important than any head of state, movie star, and certainly far more important than Louis Farrakhan, […]
COB Discovers Anonymous’ Secret Cyborg Factory!
COB RTC David Miscavige has once again done the miraculous. While recently exterior with full perceptics and operating with his Super Powers, COB factually located Anonymous’ secret Cyborg factory. In doing so, […]
Scientologist Will Smith Badly Beaten by Newspaper Reporter!
The news out of of Hollywood is shocking. Some stupid fictional wog story about a man from a another planet who has “Super Power” is making fantastic sums of money! We in […]
Church of Scientology Now Selling Babies!
Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that the Church was selling newborn babies donated by its parishioners. “It takes a great deal of wherewithal, or money, to go up Scientology’s […]
David Miscavige: New Bridge for OTXIII and Beyond!
COB RTC David Miscavige today electrified Scientologists with a new breakthrough technical announcement of magnitudes. “COB does a great deal of why finding,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion explained. “And COB has found […]
Tampon Camera Detection System Now in Scientology Orgs!
Following the recent shocking infiltration of a Scientology Org by a mentally unbalanced Russian woman, OSA learned during her interrogation that she had smuggled a tampon camera into the Org. COB RTC […]
David Miscavige to the Rescue!
Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that Golden Era Productions is making an epic film about Scientology ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige. Entitled David Miscavige to the Rescue, the film is a $200,000,000 […]
Obama, NSA, and Google are Spying on the Church of Scientology!
The Office of Special Affairs (OSA) has just concluded its top secret briefing of Fleet Admiral David Miscavige on the vast spying campaign being waged against the Church of Scientology. The perpetrators […]
All Scientologists Ordered to See Will Smith’s “After Earth” 10X This Weekend!
Speaking from the Scientology One News Bureaux in Hollywood, Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion today announced that COB RTC David Miscavige has ordered all 3.2 billion members of the Church of […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 