A Scientology Registrar Admits the Truth
Grant Cardone Opens Cardone 10X Living in an Implant Station on Mars
TEEGEEACK SECTOR / MARS APPROACH CORRIDOR — Grant Cardone, OT VIII, Cardone Capital founder, and the galaxy’s foremost authority on being the galaxy’s foremost authority, has announced the grand opening of Cardone 10X Living, the first luxury residential development purpose-built inside a Marcabian Implant Station in geostationary orbit above Mars.
Church of Scientology to Install Toilet Paper Dispensers in Ideal Orgs
In response to a recent survey of Scientology parishioners, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has ordered all Ideal Orgs to install for-pay toilet paper dispensers. This will allow Scientologists to purchase either […]
COB’s Special 2025 Speech to All Scientologists
“As we are assembled here today to celebrate the epic accomplishments of the last many decades of time which are but a brief breath in eternity, we pause to take note that, […]
Scientology Offers Free LRH Study Tech Course to Bar Exam Failure Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian failed her bar exam because she failed to complete a course in L. Ron Hubbard Study Technology,
Do Not Swallow Coat Hangers: Scientology Offers Practical Advice to Help Wogs Survive
Because wogs (non-Scientologists) are incredibly stupid, Scientology is distributing 100 million free coat hangers to the world’s 15 continents. These coat hangers warn wogs to not swallow coat hangers. “Do not swallow […]
BREAKING: Scientology Eliminates “Illegal” Binding Arbitration Clause.
Waiver of All Rights (Known and Unknown)
By signing, the parishioner surrenders not only their civil rights, but also their air rights, mineral rights, and eternal rights in all galaxies. Retroactive waivers apply to past lives as well.
It Came From Outer Space
Xenu is watching you on an omnipresent basis. Even when you sleep and dream Xenu is watching you for he never sleeps or dreams. You have good reasons to fear. You are […]
“Only Scientology Can Help Rachel Zegler!” Declares Tom Cruise — “I Know. I’ve Been Where She’s At!”
Scientologist Tom Cruise has publicly offered to pay for Rachel Zegler to get Emergency Celebrity Auditing at Scientology’s Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida. “I’ve been where Rachel is at when I […]
We in RTC Have Discovered the Hidden Who who is Destroying Scientology!
We in RTC consider Scientology registrars, as a class, to be lazy and stupid. They have always been this way. For example, when then-registrar Ken Delusion, who later became our International Spokesman, […]
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