Category Archives: OTVIIIisGrrr8!

A Message from Scientology Leader David Miscavige to Joy Villa:


How dare Joy Villa think it was okay to “play down” Scientology to a bunch of Trump-loving MAGA wogs! How are Joy pretend to be a Christian when she knows that the only path to salvation is to handle her millions of body thetans on the OT levels!

Joy Villa even managed to get herself banned from FOX for life! This proves she has evil purposes to harm Scientology as her shenanigans made Scientology, once again, the laughingstock of the internets. COB is angry, real angry, right here and right now! COB has placed Joy into ENEMY, revoked her Clear cert, and has ordered her to redo her entire Bridge from the Purif forward nine times at her own expense.

David Miscavige Mistaken for Marge Simpson


“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige’s hair finally got piled so high and over-tinted that the ecclesiastical leader was mistaken for Marge Simpson,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion.

“An investigation by RTC has revealed that COB’s hair turned blue after his colorist flubbed the dye job. This is not a laughing matter,” Delusion noted. “It is, factually and cold-bloodedly speaking, an aesthetic crisis of magnitude!”

“COB obviously can’t open the new Ideal Org in Vladivostok until cosmetic repairs have been completed. COB must also avoid high winds lest he be tipped over like a motorhome in a tornado.”

The Faith Tones to Appear at Scientology Fundraiser


The Christian songstress trio The Faith Tones will be appearing this weekend at Flag’s annual fundraiser for COB’s birthday present. Their appearance at Flag proves that we in Scientology are very Christian. We are also very Muslim.

The fact is that we in Scientology have a cloying willingness to ingratiate ourselves with all kinds of groups. We do this in order to trick the Wog World into believing that we’re just like everyone else. Sure, we in Scientology are just normal people. Except we have all the answers and know the secrets of the universe!

Dr. Phil Interviews Scientologist Joy Villa — Or is it Joy Violence?

Dr. Phil: We have Joy Villa on the phone. In 2007 Joy was arrested and booked under California penal code 273.5(A), which is domestic violence with injury to a spouse. And yet she now says she wants to run for Congress. My question: Joy Villa what makes you think you’re fit to run for Congress? Have you resolved your anger issues?

Joy Villa: Dr. Phil, I think we need to focus on making America great again and not on the past.

DP: But you beat your boyfriend in the middle of the street after getting in a fight with your own mother and beating her. And you were arrested…

JV: Floridians need infrastructure and that’s my number one priority if I run for Congress… roads, handling traffic…

DP: Joy you’re not answering my question. I also need to remind our viewers about these dominatrix photos of you that are all over the internet. And then there’s Scientology. You’re very involved in Scientology and yet claim to be a Christian. Seems to me you’ll do anything to get attention and have never confronted your anger issues…

JV: It’s not anger or rage. It’s what Scientology calls an implant. This all started 75,000,000 years ago. And I can handle these implants once I get to OTIII…

Scientology’s New Year’s Resolutions

The 100% Fully Ethical and On Source Scientologist applies KSW to his or her life and ruthlessly stamps out all sources of suppression. Are you doing your part to help Clear the Planet?

We in the Church of Scientology firmly resolve to be a fully Ideal Church in every way in 2018. We therefore make the following resolutions:

1. We will raise all prices 4000%

2. We will savagely destroy the internet and all other sources of entheta.

3. We will spy on more SP’s than ever before. We are spying on you right now.

4. We will tap the phones and hack the e-mail accounts of all SP’s.

5. We will mail COB’s Ecclesiastical Dildos to everyone we hate.

6. We will make insane videos attacking the Psychs, SMERSH, the CIA, Interpol, the Marcabs, Big Pharma, the Martians, and everyone else who is trying to stop Scientology.

7. We will erect a 1000 foot tall statue of COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige in Hollywood. This will be the tallest statue in the world.

8. Scientology Media Productions will broadcast something in 2018. We’re not sure what or where, but SMP will broadcast something. It will be much better than Leah Remini’s Emmy-winning show Scientology and the Aftermath.

9. We in RTC will immediately hand an SP Declare to any Scientology celebrity who brings Scientology into disrepute. We will no longer coddle these horrific monsters.

10. We will stop the godless Russian Communists from raiding our Orgs every other week. What the Russians call “financial crimes and fraud” we call the 100% correct application of  Scientology:

 

Scientologist Joy Villa: A Working Professional

Scientologist Joy Villa is a working professional who wears many hats: Dominatrix, singer, Pseudo-Christian Evangelical, GOP MAGA Cheerleader, and potential US Congressional candidate.

“Dianetics helped me be a better dominatrix,” Joy explained during her recent appearance on Scientology Media Production’s new show Keeping Up With Joy.


“And when I went Clear at the Scientology Celebrity Centre is was like ‘Wow! No more reactive mind!’ This is when I realized I didn’t give a fuck because I was now cause over the MEST universe.”


“Once I went Clear, I’m stopped being PTS as hell like Tom Cruise and so I don’t go around breaking my ankle and ruining film schedules!”

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“COB RTC David Miscavige personally selected me to be Scientology’s International Goodwill Ambassador after Jenna Elfman’s disaster on Imaginary Mary. And Kirstie Alley? COB told me she was a No Case Gain and to distance myself from her as far as possible.”

“And stay a million light years away from that degraded being Danny Masterson!” COB warned me.

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“As Scientology’s International Goodwill Ambassador I take the various mocks up I’ve created very seriously. After all, identity politics are very important to me: I am a Floridian, a Native American, a Christian, a Grammy considered signer, a working professional and whatever else I need to be. I can put on any disguise in order to get what I want. Wogs are really easy to fool.”

Joy Villa then asked the ladies a very provocative question:

When asked if she wanted to add anything, Joy Villa said, “I want to thank COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige for making this all possible. Thank you COB. Thank you sir!”

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Christmas Greetings from Scientology Supreme Leader David Miscavige