“Make it stop!” screamed David Miscavige! “I can’t stand it!” “Sir,” said Ken Delusion in his grimly dramatic manner, “the only thing the doctor can give you for this type of pain […]
Scientology TV Offering a Free Coffeemaker to New Viewers
Following a devastating ratings crash, an app crash of magnitude, and joking and degrading reviews in the wog media, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige took to the airwaves again on Scientology TV […]
Scientology TV Airs a 75,000,000 Year Old Photograph!
Scientology TV: Here we have a 75,000,000 year old photo showing the bomb bay of one of Xenu’s DC-8 spaceplanes. The gold boxes contain frozen humanoids ready for aerodynamic insertion into the […]
Scientology Chairman David Miscavige to Replace Rex Tillerson as Secretary of State
“Heading into negotiations with the violent and insane leader of North Korea, President Trump felt he needed a far more violent and insane American to serve as Secretary of State for what […]
Marty & Alanzo’s Deprogramming Services
The Doctors of Scientology Mark C. Rathbun and Allen “Alanzo” Stanfield have joined forces to create Marty & Alanzo’s Deprogramming Services. “Marty & Alanzo’s Deprogramming Services specializes in deprogramming Anti-Scientologists,” said Dr. […]
Scientology Man: The New Super Hero for the 21st Century!
We at Scientology Media Productions are proud to announce our launch television series: Scientology Man: The New Super Hero for the 21st Century. Scientology Man is everything a Scientologist in good standing […]
Samantha Bee Attacks Scientology & the NRA
We in Scientology love our e-meters and we love our AR-15’s — and Samantha Bee is an SP!
Is Former Trump campaign aide Sam Nunberg Setting Up an “OT Insanity” Defense?
“We in Scientology have long warned the public that reading the OT materials without proper preparations will cause a person to freewheel through their implants, catch pneumonia, and die,” said Church spokesman […]