New Church of Scientology spokesman Marty Rathbun denies everything. This new Scientology all purpose denial — “it never happened” — is now official Church doctrine. It never happened. Never happened.
Newly Rehabilitated Scientology Executive Announces Major Policy Change
“We in the Church of Scientology are announcing a major policy change,” declared newly rehabilitated Church executive Marty Rathbun who was in no way paid off, bribed, or cut a deal. Acting […]
Marty Explains the ASC
Scientology Media Productions new show “The Troika” smashes all Scientology broadcasting records!
Scientology Media Productions’ new show The Troika breaks all Scientology broadcasting records by averaging 1200 views per episode. “With an investment of $100,000,000 in SMP’s facilities, the 22 episodes of The Troika […]
Scientology Targeting Children
“With Sea Org recruitment at an all time low, we in Scientology have decided to target children,” announced Ken Delusion. “We’re using colorful clown vending machines at toy stores, ice cream parlors, […]
Scientology Media Productions New Show: Painting With Marty!
LRH: The Ultimate Spy
Although he spoke no French or German and had been relieved of command of two small US Navy ships due to insubordination and incompetence, the evidence incontrovertibly proves that General Eisenhower, Commander […]
New Senior Management Team Appointed at Flag
The New Flag Management Team L – R: Nigel Fremont; Dr. Stanley H. D. Dumont; Chester Hillsborough; David Vickers Captain David Miscavige has appointed a tough new and aggressive non-Scientology Senior Management […]
Only Scientology Offers Beam Weapon Protection
Only Scientology can protect you from NWO beam weapon attacks. These attacks seek to implant or kill you. This is why it is imperative that you report to your nearest Ideal Org […]
World’s First Scientology OT X Completion!
“Scientologist and IAS Patron Mega Chromium Excelsis Irma Jean Dinwiddie of Clearwater has become the world’s first OT X completion,” announced Snr C/S Int Davis Jackinoff. “Following Irma Jean’s completion of OT […]