Tag Archives: Religious Technology Center

Thieving Christians Steal Scientology’s Intellectual Property!


We in RTC have caught some thieving Christians stealing patented Scientology intellectual property. The copper bracelet shown above will be Exhibit A in our lawsuit which asks for ten billion dollars in damages.

It has long been known that COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige had copper rods built into his private RTC office. These rods go deep into the Earth. During times of great enturbulation, COB grasps the copper rods and discharges his pent up fury into the bowels of the Earth. As the Little Dickie series reported about COB:

– As Little Dickie gets “overcharged” in meetings with the top church officials, he had copper ground rods installed 12 feet under the ground of various conference rooms at the Int base with bare copper cable running up to the room. When Little Dickie would start getting really mad, he’d hold onto the cable to “ground the restimulated beings that are attached to his body”.

– Little Dickie has a drinking problem and routinely drinks over a 1/2 bottle of scotch (Macallan 12) per day.

These Christian hustlers, these R6 implanters, are trying to sell copper bracelets with magnets and the healing power of a pretend Jesus. This is a ripoff of Scientology Miracle Copper Healing Technology.

These Christian fraudsters will be hearing from our wog attorneys!

Donald Trump & the Good Extraterrestrials vs. The Evil Illuminati

The SP Pete Griffiths shared FB posts made by a Scientologist on the criminally suppressive Facebook group SP’s ‘r’ US. A wholetrack psych implanter, Pete’s attempt at joking and degrading about deadly serious extraterrestrial-Scientology affairs has been noted by we in RTC. A report has been placed in Pete’s permanent Ethics file.

Scientology, Toilet Paper, and Electricity


We in the Religious Technology Center are busy, busy, busy handling planetary emergencies. We sometimes even have to handle off-planet emergencies, e.g. the Implanters Union #47 is on strike again at the Mars implanting stations. What’s wrong with those fuckers? Ten cents an hour is all we in Scientology pay anybody except for our wog lawyers. If the Martian implanters don’t like it they can go work for some other religion. What’s that you say? No other religion uses implanters? Well then it looks like you’ll have to take our deal or starve!

Being so busy, we in RTC are sick and tired of hearing this same complaint over and over from Scientology Orgs:

Your local IDEAL Scientology org has an even more critical emergency!! It’s the “we sent all our income to COB so now we can’t pay the utility bills, and can’t even pay for toilet paper” emergency!!

Why do staff members at downstat Orgs constantly whine about having no electricity and no toilet paper? The fact is that your lack of havingness is because you pulled it in due to LOW OR NO PRODUCTION! It’s right there in policy! It’s not our job in RTC to see that your asses are wiped or that you have electricity so stop with the hat dumping! It’s your job to MAKE IT GO RIGHT! No more  nattering or you will be beaten!

The STPE Triangle clearly shows that production is what makes it all happen. If Scientology staff members want auditing, toilet paper, and electricity then they need to produce and bring in money. In other words, “Coffee is for closers!”

 

LRH’s Exactly Taped Path Out of the Trap

By way of answering an oft-asked technical question we get in RTC, Dr. Hubbard used Mighty Line® Deluxe Safety Tape – 4″ x 100′, Yellow/Black to exactly tape the way out of the trap. 47,000,000 feet of tape was required. If one stays within the pathway created by the lines of the safety tape they will safely exit the 75,000,000 year old trap; this assuming they can pay the $360,000+ toll to traverse the vast expanse of the trap.

If one steps outside of the lines of the safety tape, say by reading entheta online or forwarding Black PR about COB, they will die a horrible and agonizing death by suffocating on their own vomit. For this reason, we in RTC mark the exactly taped path with warning signs along the way:


Let’s do the math on LRH’s exactly taped path out of the trap. The pathway is very narrow. To be specific, it is three feet wide ( 0.9144 meter) and bounded on either side by yellow and black safety tape. Thus, we divide 47,000,000 million feet by two. By dividing and converting to miles, we find the exactly taped pathway out of the trap is 44,508 miles in length (71,629 meters).

Given the length of the exactly taped path, there is a lot of auditing to do to make it through the engram-laden swamps of the Reactive Mind and the Walls of Fire which comprise the OT Levels. Get to work Scientologist! You have a long way to go to get out of the trap!

 

Confidential: David Miscavige Popularity Plunge! Crisis in Scientology!

WTF! According to Psych-infested Facebook, the COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige news page only has 190 followers! How can this be given the fact that the Church of Scientology has 12,000,000 members and is the fastest growing religion in the world?

Worse, the internet is now joking & degrading about this! This bigotry is an outrage! We in Scientology are the most ethical group on the planet and shouldn’t have to put up with such blatant japery as this on Twitter:

DM.FB.News.Page

Dead Cult leader David Koresh has 5x more likes than COB!

David.Koresh.FB.Page

We in RTC hereby decree that all 12,000,000 Scientologists are to give COB likes on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Encyclopedia Britannica, the

Church of Scientology Leader David Miscavige Made the Butt of Jokes!

COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige was called the “big cheese” by the unfunny joker & degrader Conan O’Brien. Scientologists — both real and Stock Photo Scientologists — have protested to Conan O’Brien:

The Conan O’Brien Show
Burbank, CA 90068

Dear Mr. O’Brien,

I read the press today about your recent show with Leah Remini…Having watched the segment, I was especially disappointed by some of the gratuitous comments you made in interviewing Ms. Remini, notably a snarky reference to the Church’s leader as “the big cheese,” and questioning Ms. Remini on why the Church “is not suing” her… I found it personally offensive and I was embarrassed for you.

Thank you.

Catriona McKenzie
Ontario, Calif.

First, COB is neither big nor is he a cheese. COB is 5’1″(129.5 cm) and is made of substance that, while having the consistency of a warm and lumpy melted cheese on a hot summer day, smells far worse and is often found on the bottom of shoes.

Second, Catriona McKenzie is a stock photo Scientologist, i.e. she is not real and is rather a completely fake Scientologist used by STAND. But that’s not the point. The point is this: If Catriona McKenzie were a real Scientologist she would be outraged!

Third, we in the Church of Scientology have not sued Leah Remini because that would risk Mr. Miscavige being deposed in what would surely become a fishing trip into what critics have unfairly characterized as his “criminality, lies, perjury, and violence.” Simply put, Mr. Miscavige could never get a fair hearing in a wog court where savagely beating one’s acussers is not allowed as we understand the matter.

COB has been lampooned and parodied by many suppressive persons. Unfortunately, even in this age of cheap and unlimited bandwidth, bandwidth limitations prevent us from naming and shaming these millions of people who have chortled at COB and alleged that he is both a clownish incompetent buffoon and a violent self-aggrandizing narcissist.

Scientology is a Workable Technology.