We in RTC have caught some thieving Christians stealing patented Scientology intellectual property. The copper bracelet shown above will be Exhibit A in our lawsuit which asks for ten billion dollars in damages.
It has long been known that COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige had copper rods built into his private RTC office. These rods go deep into the Earth. During times of great enturbulation, COB grasps the copper rods and discharges his pent up fury into the bowels of the Earth. As the Little Dickie series reported about COB:
– As Little Dickie gets “overcharged” in meetings with the top church officials, he had copper ground rods installed 12 feet under the ground of various conference rooms at the Int base with bare copper cable running up to the room. When Little Dickie would start getting really mad, he’d hold onto the cable to “ground the restimulated beings that are attached to his body”.
– Little Dickie has a drinking problem and routinely drinks over a 1/2 bottle of scotch (Macallan 12) per day.
These Christian hustlers, these R6 implanters, are trying to sell copper bracelets with magnets and the healing power of a pretend Jesus. This is a ripoff of Scientology Miracle Copper Healing Technology.
These Christian fraudsters will be hearing from our wog attorneys!
“New OT research has proven Nostradamus’ prediction that Scientology will take over the world in 2019 after it established Scientology TV and destroyed all the forces of suppression. As we read in the Codex Nostradamus parchments:
When the short pompo-dored man who
standeth on an apple box
Can speak to the billions
through the air
The knowing of how to knoweth
Will take over the entire World.
And so it is has to come to pass: With 47 billion new viewers Scientology TV has paved the way whereby Scientology will take over the world in 2019. All citizens of Earth are ordered to send Scientology $2,000 for their IAS membership dues.
The “David Miscavige for President in 2020” movement received additional impetus today from the millions of Detroiters who were honored that Mr. Miscavige opened a badly-needed Scientology Ideal Org in their community.
“Detroit can finally get Scientology auditing,” said resident Mac McDooley. “Things are really going to change for the better in Detroit. All the endemic crime, violence, and poverty will end now that Scientology is here!”
“Scientology leader Generalissimo David Miscavige has placed his name before the US Senate as a wild-card-last-minute nominee to be next Justice to the Supreme Court,” said Scientology VP of Public Affairs Mr. Dag Diego.
“We in Scientology have collected an incredible amount of, ahh, certain… highly revealing information… on every US Senator.
“It would be very unfortunate if there was a massive release of this information online before Mr. Miscavige was voted on to be the next Supreme Court Justice.
Generalissimo David Miscavige
Generalissimo David Miscavige of the Scientology Imperial War Department has declared war on Colombia.
“Generalissimo Miscavige was publicly humiliated by the Colombian people! And many have called his award a Medalla Falsa,” announced Scientology Minister of Disinformation Colonel Ken Delusion.
“The outrageous mocking of Generalissimo Miscavige will not be tolerated! Scientology has already sent its spy ship the MV Freewinds to Cartagena to scout the harbor and lay out plans for the larger invasion of Colombia by Scientology’s military forces.”
Complaining that there was not enough gold ornamentation on his stage set and that the video lacked color saturation, David Miscavige today fired everyone who worked for Scientology TV.
“COB is very demanding,” explained Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “He wants more gold and more color. He wants his stage set to look like the Ark of the Covenant and dazzle the viewer. Scientology TV didn’t deliver and so everyone was fired, beaten, and assigned the condition of Non-Existence.”