“Don’t be taken in by their being cute or cooing. Babies are actually trillion year old thetans in new bodies,” said Senior C/S Int Ken Delusion. “And some babies come here from other planets with evil purposes.”
“Your baby might have been sent here by the Psychs to secretly destroy you,” Delusion warned. “Don’t take chances! Get your baby arrived at Flag immediately for an Infant Sec Check. Priced at only $50,000, this sec check may save your life by helping you to discover if your baby is actually a Marcab out to strangle you when you sleep!”
“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige won’t go anywhere near these little BT-infested ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ type of evil thetans,” Delusion noted.
We in the Church of Scientology are very pro-family and COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige loves children:
As COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige mounted the podium today to give the keynote address at the 1st annual Conference of Cult Leaders in Crisis, he sensed something was not right.
And indeed it was a trap for the stage set behind was actually a Marcabian Portal. Just as COB launched into his speech a high-pitched sound was heard. Whereupon COB was sucked into the Marcabian portal.
COB’s whereabouts remain unknown. A $500 reward is offered for information.
“By actual survey, Scientology parishioners are asking the WHY for why Scientology Media Productions is not broadcasting,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. “More than a few Scientologists have noted that Leah Remini has been able to broadcast an entheta show week after week — and even win an Emmy — while SMP sits idly by and does nothing about it, this despite Scientology’s motto that ‘Something Can Be Done About It.'”
“The answer is that the CST Deep Space Antenna Array in New Mexico has not yet received signal from the Founder on Target Two authorizing SMP to begin broadcasting.”
“An obscure clause in the Founder’s last will and testament requires his direct permission by Telex radio communication from T2 before ‘any Scientology entity may broadcast tele-vision or radio waves containing copyrighted Scientology content into the public airwaves.'”
“T2 is many light years away. SMP expects to get operational authorization from T2 in about 25,000 years,” Delusion noted. “And when we get that authorization, the station is ready to flip a switch and begin broadcasting. Until then, there are COB events and LRH Congresses to listen to for the next 25,000 years.”
Posted in OTVIIIisGrrr8!
Tagged church of scientology, Church of Scientology spokesman, Church of Spiritual Technology, COB RTC David Miscavige, David Miscavige, Emmy, Ken Delusion, L. Ron Hubbard, last will and testament, Leah Remini, Scientology and the Aftermath, Scientology Congresses, Scientology Media Productions
WTF! According to Psych-infested Facebook, the COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige news page only has 190 followers! How can this be given the fact that the Church of Scientology has 12,000,000 members and is the fastest growing religion in the world?
Worse, the internet is now joking & degrading about this! This bigotry is an outrage! We in Scientology are the most ethical group on the planet and shouldn’t have to put up with such blatant japery as this on Twitter:
Dead Cult leader David Koresh has 5x more likes than COB!
We in RTC hereby decree that all 12,000,000 Scientologists are to give COB likes on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Encyclopedia Britannica, the