Pastor Ernest Angley is reaching out to you today. He wants you stop wasting your time attacking Scientology and wants you to reach out for Jesus. In fact, why don’t you just get a life and stop committing full time suppressive acts?
“2019 will be better than ever,” enthused actress Allison Mack from Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida.
“Scientology helped me realize that NXIVM is a horrible cult and that Keith Raniere is a horrible cult leader. And now I’m doing the NXIVM Repair Rundown at Flag!”
“I want to thank COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige for his help. COB is a real global ecclesiastical leader and a not phony like Keith Raniere. Now if I can get the Bronfman sisters into Scientology everything will be great!”
Thanks to the Science of Scientology, you can now call the dead. This has been a problem in the past as the dead live in space far beyond the Van Allen Radiation Belt where phone signals can’t reach.
But the new Spirit Phones from Scientology now enable people to contact their deceased loved ones in the great beyond. For a flat fee of $5,000 a five minute phone call can be made. For information please contact the Van Allen Radiation Belt Org (VARBO) via telex to FSSO.
Calls longer than five minutes are not possible due to the collapse of the spacetime continuum. We in Scientology can only keep it open for five minutes. This is expected to change next year when OTX is released.
Scientology TV’s new reality show is called On the Road with Dave.
Starring COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige, the show follows Dave around as he tours Ideal Orgs and talks to ordinary Sea Org members and publics.
We see Dave’s human side in his interactions. Dave is not the sadistic violent and greedy psychotic he’s made out to be by the haters, SP’s, and the CIA.
Having conquered the Nation of Islam, Scientology ecclesiastical leader now wants all Costco shoppers to become Scientologists.
Therefore, a special $2,500 Dianetics Starter Kit — which includes a pair of binoculars to spy on your so-called family and friends — is being offered at all Costco locations.
“Paranoia, greed, and revenge are virtues,” Miscavige told Costco denizens as he enjoyed a $1.50 polish dog and diet coke at the Costco food court in Hemet.
We in RTC have caught some thieving Christians stealing patented Scientology intellectual property. The copper bracelet shown above will be Exhibit A in our lawsuit which asks for ten billion dollars in damages.
It has long been known that COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige had copper rods built into his private RTC office. These rods go deep into the Earth. During times of great enturbulation, COB grasps the copper rods and discharges his pent up fury into the bowels of the Earth. As the Little Dickie series reported about COB:
– As Little Dickie gets “overcharged” in meetings with the top church officials, he had copper ground rods installed 12 feet under the ground of various conference rooms at the Int base with bare copper cable running up to the room. When Little Dickie would start getting really mad, he’d hold onto the cable to “ground the restimulated beings that are attached to his body”.
– Little Dickie has a drinking problem and routinely drinks over a 1/2 bottle of scotch (Macallan 12) per day.
These Christian hustlers, these R6 implanters, are trying to sell copper bracelets with magnets and the healing power of a pretend Jesus. This is a ripoff of Scientology Miracle Copper Healing Technology.
These Christian fraudsters will be hearing from our wog attorneys!