Now the Secret Can be Revealed…

Now it can be revealed: Scientology’s attorney Monique Yingling is the love child of L. Ron Hubbard and Leona Helmsley. Now it all makes sense. Now we know why Monique is the way she is. Monique has all the genius and treachery of L. Ron Hubbard and all the class and elegance of Leona Helmsley.

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But the real question: Does Monique work for COB or does COB work for Monique? Some SP’s these days say that Monique Yingling secretly runs all of Scientology and calls the shots. One wonders because COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige dropped out of high school at age 16 while Monique’s education is stellar: Vassar College (A.B., cum laude, 1973); University of Tennessee (J.D., 1977); Georgetown University Law Center (L.L.M. in Taxation, 1984).

Who actually runs Scientology? While Scientologists are credulous enough to believe that the entire agonized future of every man, woman, and child on this planet is in the hands of an ill-tempered, violent, and narcissistic high school drop out who wears a fake Navy uniform, others feel that this stable datum cannot be true.

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The skeptics tend to think that Washington DC lawyer Monique Yingling secretly runs Scientology. After all, Monique Yingling is now the international spokesperson for Scientology and, more importantly, she was the chief architect of Scientology’s 1993 tax exemption.

And this secret: At the very top of Scientology is the secret Church of Spiritual Technology (CST). And at the very top of CST are three non-Scientology tax lawyers. Monique Yingling is a Trustee of CST and one of three tax lawyers in whose hands the very fate of Scientology was ultimately placed by the Founder.

Per CST founding documents there must always be three tax lawyers at the top of Scientology to protect Scientology’s tax exemption. These three tax lawyers can, for a nominal sum of money, revoke RTC’s licenses and therefore collapse the Church of Scientology International (CSI), for CSI is a licensee of RTC.

“Will you and your fellow CST Trustees act to ‘Save Scientology‘ or will the present farce continue?” asked journalist Don Harrison in one of his more piquant questions to Monique Yingling.

The New Scientology One Credit Card

The new Scientology One card. Pay for your OT levels on credit at a low rate of 28.6% monthly. Your children are required as collateral.

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Billy on the Street – Escape from Scientology with Rachel Dratch

Church of Scientology Now Offering Full Refunds to Anyone Who Asks!

Not really. We’re just using clickbait to lure you here for a free ARC break repair session at Flag.

Our stat is “recover people back on the Bridge.” We need to recover you and get you back winning in session. This is an order straight from COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige.

Warning: If you don’t get your ARC breaks handled and get to Flag, then the Psychs will surely kidnap you and turn you into a zombie:

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New Edition: Ecclesiastical Lawyer Monthly!

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Vistaril needed on the Set of ABC 20/20 Stat!

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Blinky McBlinkerface aka Monique Yingling needs Vistaril stat! Her chronic blinking was a huge somatic that was bad PR for Scientology.

And the show was a huge embarrassment for ABC!  Scientology’s lapdog — the talentless moron Dan Harris — made this incoherent trainwreck edition of 20/20 even worse. Harris probably could use some Vistaril as well.

What were Yingling and Harris thinking? Not once did either of them stop to effusively praise COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige for his herculean efforts in saving this planet. Not once did either of these wog toady’s praise COB for his brilliance in opening 115,991 Ideal Orgs.

What we in RTC needed from the show was more rope pull!

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Scientology Western Movie Storyboard. Opening Scenes

The movie opens with Sam the Scientologist, played by Tom Cruise, being ejected bodily from a saloon and hurled onto the dirty streets of Wogtown:

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Scene 2: The bad guy “Imonda Internet” emerges from the saloon. A showdown on the dirty streets of Wogtown between Scientology and the Internet shapes up. This powerful metaphor between the forces of good (Scientology) and evil (The Internet) defines the existential struggle for Scientologists:

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Message: Sam represents COB. Sam’s gun represents the IAS. The bullets in Sam’s gun and on his gun belt represent donations to the IAS. Thus, the movie’s central message is conveyed in the opening seconds of the film: Have you donated to the IAS to put bullets into Sam’s gun? Or are you a CICS dilettante?