We in RTC have caught some thieving Christians stealing patented Scientology intellectual property. The copper bracelet shown above will be Exhibit A in our lawsuit which asks for ten billion dollars in damages.
It has long been known that COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige had copper rods built into his private RTC office. These rods go deep into the Earth. During times of great enturbulation, COB grasps the copper rods and discharges his pent up fury into the bowels of the Earth. As the Little Dickie series reported about COB:
– As Little Dickie gets “overcharged” in meetings with the top church officials, he had copper ground rods installed 12 feet under the ground of various conference rooms at the Int base with bare copper cable running up to the room. When Little Dickie would start getting really mad, he’d hold onto the cable to “ground the restimulated beings that are attached to his body”.
– Little Dickie has a drinking problem and routinely drinks over a 1/2 bottle of scotch (Macallan 12) per day.
These Christian hustlers, these R6 implanters, are trying to sell copper bracelets with magnets and the healing power of a pretend Jesus. This is a ripoff of Scientology Miracle Copper Healing Technology.
These Christian fraudsters will be hearing from our wog attorneys!
Colorful caftans are all the rage in Scientology this Thanksgiving thanks to our OTVIII Goodwill Ambassador Kirstie Alley.
“Kirstie can rock a mumu like no one else,” said Tom Cruise as he prepared to celebrate an LRH Thanksgiving by donning the ritual cravat and throwing hapless Sea Org members into the foul waters of the cesspool at Int Base.
“The DB’s at Int Base need their ethics put in hard,” snarled Cruise.
The WHO behind the global drug pandemic is Mrs. Alice Mayville-Swope of Liverpool.
She controls 95% of the world’s legal and illegal drug market and conducts a reign of terror to enforce it. What began as selling the Devil’s Weed in 1968 turned into an illicit drug empire the profits of which she used to purchase legitimate pharmaceutical companies.
Many have been fooled into thinking that Alice’s sister Gladys is the Kingpin. After all, Gladys with her fancy cars, mansions, private jets, mega yacht, and her long string of criminal trials in which she has always been found “not guilty” are the distraction and millions were fooled. We in RTC were never fooled. We in RTC always knew it was Alice.
“Connecting the dots in Alice Mayville-Swope’s unholy pandemic of drug-fueled terror across the nineteen continents and 15,906 countries of this world,” exclaimed COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige, “CCHR investigators uncovered the fact that Mayville-Swope owns Pfizer, the manufacturer of Vistaril.
“It stands to reason then that when Mayville-Swope sat about to destroy Scientology she attempted to do so by sending in so-called helpers to Creston. Armed with Vistaril, these helpers engaged in the most horrendous plot….
“I had an alibi of course. I was drinking and gambling in Reno with Gene Denk. I even have the hotel and meal receipts and keep them to this day in my personal safe.
“I was able to step into the gap and take over. Thus, I saved Scientology at a time when it was threatened from within and without!
Moreover, Alice’s “Bluebird Network” is infamous in countries where one wants inconvenient people disposed of quietly and without sorrow.
“New OT research has proven Nostradamus’ prediction that Scientology will take over the world in 2019 after it established Scientology TV and destroyed all the forces of suppression. As we read in the Codex Nostradamus parchments:
When the short pompo-dored man who
standeth on an apple box
Can speak to the billions
through the air
The knowing of how to knoweth
Will take over the entire World.
And so it is has to come to pass: With 47 billion new viewers Scientology TV has paved the way whereby Scientology will take over the world in 2019. All citizens of Earth are ordered to send Scientology $2,000 for their IAS membership dues.
“Our forces now own Downtown Clearwater!” enthused Scientology Land Führer Hermann Eichmann. “We will next proceed to sweep Clearwater clean of all SP’s!”