Bodhi Elfman and the Secret of Scientology Anus Whitening
Now we know what really goes on aboard the Scientology ship Freewinds when it’s out to sea: A group whitening process. Bon voyage on your Scientology journey to… a white anus.
Tom Cruise Quits Scientology — But Scientology Doesn’t Quit Tom Cruise!
Tom Cruise recently had a thought that he wanted to quit Scientology. Tom confided this thought to a so-called friend who immediately leaked the story to the wog media as we see […]
Prince Andrew Turns to Scientology for Help; Worries if He Can Afford it After Losing His £249,000 Royal Salary
“A troubled Prince Andrew has turned to we in the Church of Scientology for help,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Flag Case Supervisor has ordered the Prince to undergo 100 hours of […]
L. Ron Hubbard Makes a Surprise Appearance at the Grand Opening of the Central Ohio Ideal Org
Mr. L. Ron Hubbard, Founder of Dianetics and Scientology, teleported in from T2 for the grand opening of the Central Ohio Ideal Org. Mr. Hubbard wowed the audience with an update on […]
Aryan Brotherhood Adopts Scientology as a Way to Handle Engrams and Past Trauma
Encouraged by the ways in which Scientology has helped Nation of Islam members become better Muslims, the Aryan Brotherhood today announced that its members have begun Dianetics and Scientology courses in the […]
Scientology Leader Missing Over Kansas City in Freak Helium Balloon Mishap!
“It was freak accident,” declared Ken Delusion. “Mr. Miscavige’s right wrist and forearm became entangled in the helium balloons when they were released. The bantamweight Mr. Miscavige was suddenly swept heavenward by […]
