“We in Scientology have much to be thankful for on this bright, hot, and sunny Christmas Day,” said COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige to the small crowd of Scientologists assembled in the […]
David Miscavige’s July 4th
It Came From Outer Space
Xenu is watching you on an omnipresent basis. Even when you sleep and dream Xenu is watching you for he never sleeps or dreams. You have good reasons to fear. You are […]
Scientology’s Wizard-Level Toilet Replacement Skills Amazes the Experts!
The toilet in a guest room at Flag was not flushing! Something had to be done about it and now! An expert plumbing crew was called in. Along with other experts from […]
David Miscavige: “I Am Not Insanely Jealous of Tom Cruise’s Blockbuster Monster Success with Top Gun 2!!!”
From his Scientology War Room in an undisclosed location, Scientology Supreme General for Life David Miscavige denied he was insanely jealous of Tom Cruise’s spectacular financial and career success with Top Gun […]
Scientology Leader David Miscavige’s Urgent Emergency Briefing! Mandatory Viewing Ordered!
During his six-hour sermon at Sunday’s weekly church service, Scientology ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige heroically declared of himself, “I am as woke AF!“ Mr. Miscavige then presented a highly confidential Power Point […]
Afterlife Implanting Station Photographed Using New Mark 8 Ghost Camera
“In a revolutionary breakthrough for the ages,” said Dr. Ken Delusion, “New OT10 James Swope-Covington caustively dropped his body, died, and was pulled into an Afterlife Implanting Station on Mars!” “Whereupon, he […]
United Chemtrail Workers Suing QAnon Over Defamation Claims that “Chemtrails Spread Covid”
The United Chemtrail Workers (UCW) today announced that it is suing QAnon for making slanderous and libelous claims that chemtrails are spreading Covid. “This is an outrage against the United Chemtrail Workers,” […]
David Miscavige Finally Admits It: He Is a Communist Agent Sent in by the Kremlin to Sabotage Scientology
Having received information that the New York Times planned to publish its bombshell story this Sunday revealing that David Miscavige is a Communist agent who was sent into sabotage Scientology in 1976, […]
Scientology Updates Its Course on How to Confront and Shatter Suppression
We in Scientology hasten to point out that while Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are not presently on course in Scientology, they are still stealth Scientologists. Will Smith’s Scientology training was proven […]
Scientology Junk Mail as Pop Art
We in Scientology mail out massive amounts of mail everyday. Our mail stream is a nonstop deluge of endless pleas beseeching people for money. Buy a book; take a course; go Clear; […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 