Church Sets Monthly Budget for Scientologists; Orders Scientologists Onto Food Stamps & Welfare

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“It has come to management’s attention that Scientologists are not taking advantage of food stamps, welfare, Medi-Cal, homeless shelters, soup kitchens and other sources of free financial assistance offered by wog governments and charities,” said Dr. Frank Wonderman, Executive Director of COB’s mandatory new program called Getting Scientologists Onto Welfare In Order to Increase Donations to Scientology.

“The Church of Scientology desperately needs the money Scientologists are wasting on meat body dramatizations such as food, water, electricity, flush toilets, medical care, housing, and even clothing,” Delusion emphasized. “A hat pack is being released to show Scientologists how to game the system in order to get onto government welfare and wog charity programs.”

“To begin gradiently, the Church is ordering all Scientologists to work two jobs. Further, the Church is putting all Scientologists on a monthly budget of $2010. This budget allows for $27.00 in spending per day — which is more than enough for Scientologists to get by on. Any income above this limit is to be donated to the Church. All Scientologists must adhere to this new budget to remain in good standing with the Church:

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Caved In Weakling Scientologists Engaging in Deindexing Stories from Google

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It has been brought to our attention in RTC that Scientology OT’s are having articles about their involvement in Scientology deindexed (removed) from Google. This is a very BAD INDICATOR that means two things:

1. These theetie-wheetie dilettante Scientologists have no confront and are ashamed of being publicly identified as Scientologists. This is why they use attorneys to demand that Google deindex articles in which they are identified as Scientologists. COB has confront. He never has Black PR or entheta articles about him deindexed from Google. So why do these publics? Why are their necks so precious?

2. Scientologists who have had Google deindex articles are at -8.0 on the Tone Scale as they have gone into hiding. Their downward spiral continued to -10.0 where they have become objects, specifically they have become their IAS trophies. Predictively, they will next become -20.0 which is nothing.

We in RTC think less of the Bob Duggan’s of the world who get caved in by articles about them being Scientologists and thus engage in deindexing rather than standing up and confronting the Isness of, say, having shipped one’s kids off to Scientology Africa in exchange for a large donation to the Ideal Org in Jo’burg.

We in RTC order problem Sea Org members shipped all over the world into miserable hellholes, Class 5 Orgs, body routing, and even into the RPF. This movement of problem people is  neither an overt nor a sordid subject. This is what we want Scientologists Simone Hafenmeyer, Dennis Romeiser, and Simone Lorenzen of Germany to know.

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Scientology missions form a vital link in the chain of Planetary Clearing!

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“Well sir the Phoenix Mission here was booming back in the old days,” said mission holder Bud Turlock. “But then they was that ter-nady what swept up from Oklahoma and washed out the dirt road and knocked down the power lines.

“The county won’t bulldoze me a new road and I ain’t got no money to do it myself cause I had to sell my bulldozer to pay for new dentures, a Basics library for the mission, and whatnot and so forth. And then they put in that big flashy Indian casino down the road and people would rather go thar and get liquored up and gamble. Hell, some nights I go down thar and get liquored real good up seein’ as nuthin’ much happens here at the mission since the was road washed out. Had some fellers come by from the Jay-hovah’s Witnesses church over there in Gila Bend awhile back but I done run ’em off.

COB’s supposed to boom the missions and Orgs when SMP goes live on the tee-vee next month.”

SP Jokers & Degraders Launch Ransonware Attack on Scientology E-Meters!

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SP criminals have hacked the Windows XP-based Scientology mainframe computer and put a virus onto all Warehouse 8 e-meters.

What happens is that when a floating needle occurs in session, the dial shows a picture of Bozo the Clown and uproarious laughter emanates from the meter.

A message then flashes on the dial demanding $300 to unlock the meter. Scientology cyber experts say this appears to be the work of SMERSH, a Psych group dedicated to enturbulating Scientology organizations.

David Miscavige and Lee Baca: The new faces of Criminon

David Miscavige and Lee Baca: The new faces of Criminon, Scientology’s criminal rehabilitation program. Donate today for a better tomorrow.

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Secret Scientology Plot Exposed!

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The Church of Scientology is Fabulous and Huge!

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“The global demand for Scientology is huge, just incredibly huge,” exclaimed Scientology Media Czar Ken Delusion. “Folks, Scientology is fabulous, just fabulous. We are a winning Church with beautiful people.”

“Let me be clear on Scientology’s huge results: COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige continues to open Ideal Orgs at a blistering pace of 33 per day. That is amazing. We now have 217,918 Ideal Orgs scattered across the fifteen continents and 3208 countries of the world. Even in Tanzania folks. Scientology is everywhere. We are even under your bed at night when you sleep.”

“Literally we are under your bed beaming waves into your mind at night while you sleep. And that is why Scientology doesn’t want you to take Psych drugs or NyQuil or drink alcohol before you go to bed at night as these drugs block our waves from reaching deeply into your mind.”

“We want you to be fabulous and huge just like the rest of us in Scientology. That can only happen if you cooperate and let Scientology into your mind. Once we are in your mind then *POW!* the magic happens! You become one of us!”

“And now a public service message: