OTVIIIisGrrr8!

The World's Best Satire of the Church of Scientology and its Leader David Miscavige

Wednesday, April 14th, 2021|
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I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Denice Duff’s $97 Face Cream

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on April 9, 2021 • ( 2 Comments )

Who can forget Scientologist and actor Denice Duff’s star turn as Michelle Morgan in the 1994 classic Bloodlust: Subspecies III? Even as vampire-undead-zombie, Denice’s skin was radiant: And now Denice Duff is […]

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David Miscavige Arrested. Church of Scientology Dissolved and Disincorporated.

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on April 1, 2021 • ( 6 Comments )

David Miscavige was arrested today by the FBI in a predawn raid on his secret compound in Texarkana, Texas. Miscavige, 61, was charged with 11,822 assorted felonies and an additional 18,628 misdemeanors. […]

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Humanitarian Crisis Unfolds as The Freewinds Becomes Stuck in Suez Canal. Millions of Muslims in the Middle East Denied Scientology!

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on March 27, 2021 • ( 2 Comments )

“The Freewinds was steaming through the Suez Canal to deliver the OT levels to millions of Muslims in the Middle East clamoring for Scientology,” explained Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Muslim world […]

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Scientology 1950’s Retro Chic: In Praise of White Men, Cigarettes, and Money!

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on March 25, 2021 • ( 3 Comments )

“White men who smoked cigarettes, embezzled money, and knew how to make women keep their big mouths shut and obey the rules is what made the Church of Scientology great in the […]

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Grant Cardone’s Got a Gun: Has His Whole World Come Undone?

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on March 6, 2021 • ( 2 Comments )

We in RTC note that Grant Cardone’s got a gun and looks quite unhinged and maniacal. Has his whole world come undone? What did his massive debt load do?

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NASA Rover Finds 75 Million Year Old Artifact on Mars

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on March 6, 2021 • ( 2 Comments )

“The Perseverance rover was scouting the Marcabian between-lives implanting stations on Mars when it discovered a 75 million year old Scientology e-meter,” said NASA Rover Director Ken Delusion. “Follow the science,” Delusion […]

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Florida Political Hack Chris Latvala Honored as Scientology Lap Dog of the Month

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on February 25, 2021 • ( 3 Comments )

Chris Latvala, an eminently mediocre member of the Florida House of Representatives, has been awarded the Scientology Lap Dog of the Month for his spirited defense of Scientology. “We in Scientology were […]

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Top Secret: Freewinds End Cycle Program

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on February 20, 2021 • ( 1 Comment )

TOP SECRETTO: COBFROM: FSSORE: FREEWINDS END CYCLE PROGRAM Dear Sir, We have mocked up a train tunnel. We then laid train tracks down and routed them onto the main line train tracks […]

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Tom Cruise Stars in a New Episode of Scientology TV

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on February 20, 2021 • ( 3 Comments )

With production shut down in London on Mission Impossible 52: The Same Old Plot, Tom Cruise flew to Hollywood to star in an episode of Scientology TV. In this episode Tom Cruise […]

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Grant and Elena Cardone Speak at Flag on How to 10X the Orgs & Why LRH Got It So Wrong

By OTVIIIisGrrr8! on February 16, 2021 • ( 2 Comments )

“Where LRH got it so wrong,” said Grant Cardone, “is that he was stuck in the win of his old St. Hill sized Org. LRH never said, ‘Hey, we need to have […]

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Recent Posts

  • I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Denice Duff’s $97 Face Cream
  • David Miscavige Arrested. Church of Scientology Dissolved and Disincorporated.
  • Humanitarian Crisis Unfolds as The Freewinds Becomes Stuck in Suez Canal. Millions of Muslims in the Middle East Denied Scientology!
  • Scientology 1950’s Retro Chic: In Praise of White Men, Cigarettes, and Money!
  • Grant Cardone’s Got a Gun: Has His Whole World Come Undone?
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