David Miscavige Disappears Into Marcabian Space Portal

As COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige mounted the podium today to give the keynote address at the 1st annual Conference of Cult Leaders in Crisis, he sensed something was not right.

And indeed it was a trap for the stage set behind was actually a Marcabian Portal. Just as COB launched into his speech a high-pitched sound was heard. Whereupon COB was sucked into the Marcabian portal.

COB’s whereabouts remain unknown. A $500 reward is offered for information.

7 replies »

    • Donald Trump’s hair is actually a woven radioactive mesh that emits dangerous gamma radiation. As such, Mr. Trump’s hair would ruin any space portal and so the ET’s stay away from him. However this protection comes at the cost of high staff turnover in the White House.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Marcabian Space Portal is code for disappearing up his own arse.
    So that’s where he is gone. It happens when you become a such a nasty gigantic arsehole that you generate your own gravitational force.
    I”ll take my $500 in big pharma pharmaceuticals only. No cheques or Muffins.
    Thanks. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Those evil Marcabs will use COB’s DNA to create an army of midget thugs. They will use this army to conquer the entire guhh-lax-ee!! Only Xenu can stop them!

    Liked by 1 person

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