“Sea Org bureaucrats who conduct routine staff brainwashing perform a vital function within Scientology,” explained Dr. Hubbard. “Outsiders think of Scientology as a sinister and vindictive revenge-driven organization and we are very […]
Introduction to the Scientology Knowledge Report Issued by Captain Holotta Delusion, Inspector General Ethics, Religious Technology Center The Knowledge Report (KR) is designed to protect you and other Scientologists from receiving any […]
“What are the real facts about the Church of Scientology and computer hacking?” asked Dr. Frank Wonderman today during a special meeting to address recent scandalous allegations. “The facts are these: When […]
— TO BE READ ALOUD TO THE ILLEGALLY ASSEMBLED SP TORONTO CONFERENCE BY A DESIGNATED SP AUTHORITY— We in RTC have declared the SP Toronto Conference, or conclave, or whatever it is […]
Recent surveys conducted by we in RTC have shown a 64X increase in Happiness in the Church of Scientology. “Increased happiness is not an accident,” said WDC Chairman Holotta Delusion. “Increased happiness […]
We in the Church of Scientology are calling for an end to the madness of the internet and its incessant attacks upon religion, decency, and morality. We in Scientology long for a […]
OSA Director of Internet Combat Killers (OSA DICK) Dr. Werner Von Strudeldorf sat at his desk and concluded his analysis of the latest datums. “There is no doubt about it,” Von Strudeldorf […]
“With record Scientology expansion comes record suppression,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion, “and that is why Captain Miscavige had 24 additional stories added to the Superannuated Los Angeles Infinity Platinum Model Ideal […]
“What was needed,” said Church spokesman Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, “was a tough new Watch Dog Committee (WDC) Chairman to smash in ethics on Scientologists.” “Accordingly, the Board of Directors has appointed […]
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