And now as we prepare to turn another page on eternity, let us look back on what we in the Church of Scientology did in 2016. We almost finished the fundraise on […]
Scientology: Confess Your Crime of Celebrating Christmas!
So you thought you could celebrate Christmas without we in Scientology finding out? Well you were wrong! And you will not be released from Scientology interrogation until you give us a full […]
David Miscavige wishing you a Sassy Christmas!
Kirstie Alley’s Scientology OT Charm School Now in Session
Kirstie Alley, Scientology New OT VII feels compelled to slug people in the vagina or the nuts to shame them. These are effective solutions for life Kirstie gained after donating millions of […]
New Scientology device treats body thetans in the feet!
New Scientology device treats body thetans in the feet. *POW!* Foot problems vanish! Unfortunately, we in Scientology still don’t have a device to treat our own footbullets…
Church of Scientology Urges US Electors to Elect David Miscavige for President
Scientology Policy Directive: Policy on Missing Persons
Scientology Policy Directive Policy on Missing Persons It is a technical fact that a thetan, as himself, can never be missing. However, due to implants and amnesia on the wholetrack, a thetan […]
New Evidence Shows Russian Hackers Responsible for Scientology’s Terrible Reputation
Fleet Admiral David Miscavige today confirmed that Russian hackers were responsible for Scientology’s terrible reputation. “Vladimir Putin is behind the plot to destroy Scientology,” said the Fleet Admiral. “Putin is doing this […]
Church of Scientology: We Oppose Fake News!
“As the most ethical group on the planet, we in the Church of Scientology oppose fake news,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Unlike the truths we speak in Scientology, fake news is […]