We in Scientology are, as you feared, jackbooted thugs! And we’re taking over America! Even now our forces are sweeping out across the land. Surrender or be exiled to Canada! You have […]
Scientology to Take Over America!
Communist Brainwashing Manual: Declaration of Charles Stickley
My name is Charles Stickley. Contrary to rumors, half-truths, and wild-eyed confabulations, I alone am the author of the book Brain-Washing: A Synthesis of the Russian Textbook of Psychopolitics. I first met […]
False Data Spreader
Thanks to improved technology, the new False Data Spreader 47X from Psych Industries — the trusted name in Psychiatric Suppression supplies and implanting equipment for over 150 years — works 1500% faster […]
Big Dick’s Scientology Success Affirmations
* My failed purposes have failed in their purposes to stop me. Hence, I am becoming more prosurvival everyday. * For Scientology Volunteer Ministers, a disaster is an opportunity waiting to happen. […]
Why Does Tom Cruise Keep Leaving Scientology and Coming Back?
Tom Cruise leaves Scientology every few years but then he always comes back. Why? Because the rumors are true: We in Scientology have all the dirt on Tom Cruise. We won’t publicly […]
Mark C. Rathbun: OMG! The Martians Are After Me!
There are covert operations being run on me by the troika and their financiers! I can tell because there were tire tracks on the road by the gas station that weren’t there […]
Get the SP!
Dad was driving the family’s Oldsmobile Vista-Cruiser when he spotted the SP in the crosswalk. Dad accelerated hard, and, with a hard-fixed Scientology glare, aimed the gleaming 5,000 pounds of Detroit steel […]
RTC Confidential Memo to COB: Super Bowl Ad Analysis
Dear Sir, Your Super Bowl ad was super-fantastic. Our tracking data shows that over five billion people responded positively to the ad. These billions of people now have a favorable impression of […]
Tom Cruise’s Escape from Scientology Thwarted by OSA Special Forces!
Tom Cruise yesterday tried to escape from Scientology’s ultra-secret compound in Trementina, New Mexico. The 55 year old actor bolted from his cell, ran across the tarmac, and grabbed onto the side […]
Scientology: Buggery on the High Seas!
The motor vessel Freewinds will be the location of Scientology Media Productions first feature film Buggery on the High Seas. Based on a screenplay by L. Ron Haddock, the film features “rum […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 