“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige is pleased to announced the appointment of Mr. Anthony Scaramucci as the new Executive Director of Scientology Media Productions,” said Ken Delusion at the regular Monday press […]
Scientology & Disconnection
The Church of Scientology is pleased to announce its newest venture: Theta Movers. This full service moving company is here to service all your moving needs when OSA has ordered you to […]
Church of Scientology Demands that All Reporters & Other SP’s Be Fired!
We in Scientologists Taking Action Against Discrimination demand the following: 1. All reporters who have ever have written any entheta about Scientology be fired for being bigots and haters. 2. All filmmakers […]
Scientology Media Productions Collapses; Rushed to Intensive Care Unit
Scientology Media Productions collapsed today on a sidewalk and was rushed to the Hollywood Religious Hospital by paramedics. “SMP’s prognosis is grim,” said staff specialist Dr. Metah Bolic. “My colleagues report that […]
Church of Scientology to Install Toilet Paper Dispensers in Ideal Orgs
In response to a recent survey of Scientology parishioners, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has ordered all Ideal Orgs to install for-pay toilet paper dispensers. This will allow Scientologists to purchase either […]
Reverend Bob Tilton Handles Scientology & Pulls Marty Rathbun’s Withhold
Hey young people! Here’s a groovy free CD offer from your friends at the Church of Scientology!
Hey young people! Here’s a groovy free CD offer from your friends at Scientology. We’re the coolest religion on Earth! Just fill out the card and mail it in or drop by […]
Scientology Adopts the Flat Earth Cosmology
Public Notice: The Church of Scientology has officially adopted a Flat Earth cosmology after finding lost tech written by the Founder. Scientologists have never believed in the lies of science and now […]
New Scientology Tower Looms Above Hollywood!
“Due to the enormous popularity of Scientology’s ‘Big Blue’ complex in Hollywood, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has ordered the addition of 24 extra stories to the landmark edifice,” announced spokesman Ken […]
Church of Scientology to Open 1000 McDonald’s Franchises
“In a desperate and clutching last-ditch attempt to recruit new members, the Church of Scientology today announced that it would be opening 1,000 McDonald’s franchises in key cities across the world,” announced […]