Tom Cruise was AWOL from the Oscars as he was needed elsewhere to protect the Earth from a threatened alien invasion. “We in Scientology Intelligence received a credible report that the Fifth […]
Why Tom Cruise Refused to Rescue a Comedian Trapped in a Car Getting Coffee
Who’s laughing now Mr. Joke Man? While out to get coffee, comedian Trey Southpark suddenly found himself trapped in his Porsche on Interstate 5 during the massive rainstorms here in Los Angeles. […]
No More Auditing for You! David Miscavige Denies Scientology to the Entire World After a Wog Court Declares Him Served
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige officially denied Scientology to the entire world after a wog court declared him served in a lawsuit. “The world will now get to see just how quickly […]
Brawny Toilet Paper Lumberjack Finally Gets His Big Break; Appears in Same Ad Space as Tom Cruise.
Brawny Toilet Paper Lumberjack Finally Gets His Big Break; Appears in Same Ad Space as Tom Cruise. After decades of hard work as the Brawny Toilet Paper Lumberjack, Scientologist Brad Whypingass of […]
Deep State Plot Exposed by Scientologist Tom Cruise: Elon Musk is a CIA Agent Who Purchased Twitter in Order to Destroy Twitter!
“Sometimes it takes a secret agent to catch a secret agent,” declared Tom Cruise a/k/a Ethan Hunt during a press conference held at Scientology Media Productions in Hollywood. Cruise, 60, displayed Elon […]
Exposed! Danny Masterson’s Attorney Phillip Cohen Revealed to be Aleister Crowley in Disguise!
The media was shocked to learn that Danny Masterson’s criminal defense attorney is actually the nefarious occultist Aleister Crowley. “The Dark Lords who controlled L. Ron Hubbard, and now control David Miscavige, […]
Begone Xenu! David Miscavige and Tom Cruise Lead 120 Million Scientologists in Postulating Away All Entheta & Black PR!
Assembled in the Great Hall of Exact Data in Clearwater, Florida, Scientology ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige and Tom Cruise lead 120 million Scientologists in postulating away all entheta and Black PR which […]
Karen Bass’ Diary Excerpts
Karen Bass’ Diary Excerpts 2010: I’ve been invited by a Scientology minister named David Miscavige to speak at Scientology’s church in Los Angeles. Sheriff Lee Baca will be there as well. Maybe I […]
David Miscavige: “I Am Not Insanely Jealous of Tom Cruise’s Blockbuster Monster Success with Top Gun 2!!!”
From his Scientology War Room in an undisclosed location, Scientology Supreme General for Life David Miscavige denied he was insanely jealous of Tom Cruise’s spectacular financial and career success with Top Gun […]
Tom Cruise Top Gun 2: Botox Malfunction!
“Even with his head temporarily swollen by a Botox malfunction, Maverick is readying Top Gun 2 for a theatrical release in the next few years,” said assistant second unit apple box manager […]