Scientology Actor Juliette Lewis Named 2016 OT Goodwill Ambassaor! In addition to being a famous actor, Juliette Lewis is also is a famous OT singing sensation:
Scientology Actor Juliette Lewis Named 2016 OT Goodwill Ambassador
Conditional Holiday Greetings from the Church of Scientology
Church of Scientology Conditional Holiday Greetings (Please read, fill in your name, date, and then sign and return to your nearest Church of Scientology in the postage-paid return envelope) We in the […]
Actor Nicolas Cage to Return Stolen Scientology E-Meter Purchased from Disreputable Mormon Art Dealer
Actor Nicolas Cage agreed to return a stolen antique Scientology e-meter he unwittingly purchased in 2007 from a disreputable Mormon art dealer. “The e-meter was a very rare 1954 Venutian 54-C tube […]
Billy Joe Bumpus Named 2015 Power FSM of the Year
New OT VII Billy Joe Bumpus of Glendale, California was named Power FSM of the year. “Billy Joe disseminated Scientology to 1.759 billion people of Earth, thus beating Tom Cruise’s old record […]
Confidential Debrief to the NSA on Space Alien Abductions
Captain David Miscavige Orders the “OT Obesity Epidemic” Terminatedly Handled
“Captain David Miscavige has ordered the ‘OT Obesity Epidemic’ in the Church of Scientology terminatedly handled,’” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Accordingly, Captain Miscavige has appointed Captain Stayta Kleer as Obesity Dictator. […]
Give Billy Eichner All the Emmys for This “Escape from Scientology” Obstacle Course
We in the Church of Scientology highly recommend OT Billy Eichner’s “Escape From Scientology” video. Billy is hereby awarded his Bridge to Total Freedom at 50% off list price. Billy Eichner is […]
Hollywood Director David Miscavige to Release Film Called “Going Clear: Scientology and the Bridge to Total Movie Stardom”
David Miscavige is many things: Global ecclesiastical leader, scholar, humanitarian, acclaimed orator, auteur, inventor, interior decorator, empire builder, billionaire, and now he is set to show the world his impressive talents […]
David Miscavige Receives IRS 35 Year Service Award
In a private ceremony today in Washington DC, IRS special undercover agent David Miscavige received a gold watch and a distinguished employee award in recognition of his 35 years of service. The […]
New Sec Checking Sledge Hammer Increases Confessions 4700x
“When applied standardly to kneecaps, elbows, or heads, the patented new RTC sec checking sledge hammer increases confessions 4700x,” declared CO OSA Inquisitions Captain Stayta Kleer. “The new Ultra Mark VIII meter […]
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