Tag Archives: L. Ron Hubbard

LRH’s Exactly Taped Path Out of the Trap

By way of answering an oft-asked technical question we get in RTC, Dr. Hubbard used Mighty Line® Deluxe Safety Tape – 4″ x 100′, Yellow/Black to exactly tape the way out of the trap. 47,000,000 feet of tape was required. If one stays within the pathway created by the lines of the safety tape they will safely exit the 75,000,000 year old trap; this assuming they can pay the $360,000+ toll to traverse the vast expanse of the trap.

If one steps outside of the lines of the safety tape, say by reading entheta online or forwarding Black PR about COB, they will die a horrible and agonizing death by suffocating on their own vomit. For this reason, we in RTC mark the exactly taped path with warning signs along the way:


Let’s do the math on LRH’s exactly taped path out of the trap. The pathway is very narrow. To be specific, it is three feet wide ( 0.9144 meter) and bounded on either side by yellow and black safety tape. Thus, we divide 47,000,000 million feet by two. By dividing and converting to miles, we find the exactly taped pathway out of the trap is 44,508 miles in length (71,629 meters).

Given the length of the exactly taped path, there is a lot of auditing to do to make it through the engram-laden swamps of the Reactive Mind and the Walls of Fire which comprise the OT Levels. Get to work Scientologist! You have a long way to go to get out of the trap!

 

Is Former Trump campaign aide Sam Nunberg Setting Up an “OT Insanity” Defense?

“We in Scientology have long warned the public that reading the OT materials without proper preparations will cause a person to freewheel through their implants, catch pneumonia, and die,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion.

OT.Materials
“We in Scientology can confirm that former Trump campaign aide Sam Nunberg went on the SP site xs4all where he read the legally webbed OT materials.  Sure enough, Nunberg began to freewheel through his implants and became quite insane as he babbled away on political talk shows like a drunken Pentecostal.”

“However there is more this story,” cautioned Delusion. “Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller is hot on Nunberg’s tracks. We in Scientology believe Nunberg read the OT materials in order to set up an ‘OT Insanity’ defense ahead of possible criminal charges.”

“This would not be the first time someone accused Scientology of driving them insane,” Delusion noted.

Communist Brainwashing Manual: Declaration of Charles Stickley

Dr. Charles Stickley, author, Brain-Washing: A Synthesis of the Russian Textbook of Psychopolitics

My name is Charles Stickley. Contrary to rumors, half-truths, and wild-eyed confabulations, I alone am the author of  the book Brain-Washing: A Synthesis of the Russian Textbook of Psychopolitics.

I first met L. Ron Hubbard when we both served in the US Navy in WWII and were sent on a secret mission. Delivered to Java by the destroyer USS Edsall, Ron and I went into the jungle to spy on the Japanese. We were detected and fled. Ron was machine-gunned in the back as we escaped to our rubber raft.

As we drifted 2,000 miles back to Australia and lived on rainwater and fish we speared, Ron and I had a long time to talk about the dangers posed by Communism and Communists. We both agreed that Communism was greater than the danger posed by Nazi Germany.


I became increasingly concerned about the Communist infiltration of America using polio monkey serums, fluoridated water, and Jewish mental hygiene. Accordingly, in 1951 I wrote and and caused to be issued a phamplet through my Keep America Committee of Los Angeles:


L. Ron Hubbard saw my phamplet. He contacted me immediately from his home in New Jersey. Ron shared my concerns and indeed we had discussed these matters years before in that rubber life raft as we drifted in the Banda and Arafura seas. Ron told me that the Communists had stolen his Excalibur manuscript in 1938 and were even now reading Dianetics. In fact, Khrushchev himself had offered Ron a “write your own ticket” deal that included a full laboratory if Ron would come to Moscow and work in brainwashing. Ron, a true American, would have none of it.

I quickly read Dianetics, saw its benefits, and became a Dianeticist and later a Scientologist. In 1955, Ron Hubbard delievered to me a series of lectures that had been stolen by his agents from Lenin University in Moscow. These lectures had been delievered by Beria himself and discussed how to brainwash and destroy the West using pain, drugs, and hypnosis. This is when I wrote Brain-Washing: A Synthesis of the Russian Textbook of Psychopolitics:

Seeing the brilliance of my work, Ron Hubbard ordered the Church of Scientology to widely distribute my work. Others too published my book. That Ron Hubbard is cited as the author of my work is false.

Signed this 22nd day of February 2018 at Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida.

Dr. Charles Stickley

Artists

Big Dick’s Scientology Success Affirmations

Dick.Bongo

Success affirmations written by Richard “Big Dick” Bongo. Valley OTC Chairman and owner of Bongo Telex Services.

* My failed purposes have failed in their purposes to stop me. Hence, I am becoming more prosurvival everyday.

* For Scientology Volunteer Ministers, a disaster is an opportunity waiting to happen. Grab your camera, get on a plane, and fly to the scene of disasters! Ignore the SP’s who call this ambulance chasing.

* A large donation to the IAS is greater than any Ethics action pending against me.

* My need for a replacement hip is a just a consideration. I am greater than the mechanics of the MEST universe. My hip is feeling much better after each Solo session.

* I do not owe a shitload in back taxes. If I do not give this problem any attention units, the IRS will go away.

* One’s IAS status must go in before the Tech can go in.

* Nothing in life can stop an OT. Except for an SP declare.

* The Psychs are just a mocked up identity like BT’s. Except the Psychs are more real, more solid, and can be used for fundraising purposes by Scientology.

* The first to talk walks. Do I turn in my fellow OT’s on this mail order hustle we are running? Of course I do. This is survival for me.

Budget Drastically Slashed for L. Ron Hubbard’s 2018 Birthday Event

“Due to the extreme global statcrash in Scientology’s gross income brought about by a certain suppressive television show, Ron’s 2018 birthday event will be held at Dwayne and Helen Schuman’s home in Van Nuys,” announced Dr. Frank Wonderman. “Tickets are $155 each. Please RSVP to Dwayne and Helen by March 1 so they can order sufficient cakes and pies from Theta Catering Services.”

Dr. Frank Wonderman. Supreme Scientology Finance Dictator

“As the newly-appointed Supreme Scientology Finance Dictator, I must implement harsh austerity measures such as this,” Dr. Wonderman stated. “COB has further decreed that  wasting lavish sums of money each year dramatizing Ron’s birthday is now out ethics in Scientology’s dire time of poverty.”

“COB has also announced a new monthly IAS donation plan to enable all of the dragass downstat publics in the field to give a little something each month. This monthly plan is being done to allow these DB’s to keep their exchange in with the Church.”

Scientologist Joy Villa: A Working Professional

Scientologist Joy Villa is a working professional who wears many hats: Dominatrix, singer, Pseudo-Christian Evangelical, GOP MAGA Cheerleader, and potential US Congressional candidate.

“Dianetics helped me be a better dominatrix,” Joy explained during her recent appearance on Scientology Media Production’s new show Keeping Up With Joy.


“And when I went Clear at the Scientology Celebrity Centre is was like ‘Wow! No more reactive mind!’ This is when I realized I didn’t give a fuck because I was now cause over the MEST universe.”


“Once I went Clear, I’m stopped being PTS as hell like Tom Cruise and so I don’t go around breaking my ankle and ruining film schedules!”

TC.Ankle

“COB RTC David Miscavige personally selected me to be Scientology’s International Goodwill Ambassador after Jenna Elfman’s disaster on Imaginary Mary. And Kirstie Alley? COB told me she was a No Case Gain and to distance myself from her as far as possible.”

“And stay a million light years away from that degraded being Danny Masterson!” COB warned me.

Danny.Masterson.2

“As Scientology’s International Goodwill Ambassador I take the various mocks up I’ve created very seriously. After all, identity politics are very important to me: I am a Floridian, a Native American, a Christian, a Grammy considered signer, a working professional and whatever else I need to be. I can put on any disguise in order to get what I want. Wogs are really easy to fool.”

Joy Villa then asked the ladies a very provocative question:

When asked if she wanted to add anything, Joy Villa said, “I want to thank COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige for making this all possible. Thank you COB. Thank you sir!”

DM.Hair

Delusion Reveals the WHY for Why Scientology Media Productions Is Not Broadcasting

“By actual survey, Scientology parishioners are asking the WHY for why Scientology Media Productions is not broadcasting,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. “More than a few Scientologists have noted that Leah Remini has been able to broadcast an entheta show week after week — and even win an Emmy — while SMP sits idly by and does nothing about it, this despite Scientology’s motto that ‘Something Can Be Done About It.'”

“The answer is that the CST Deep Space Antenna Array in New Mexico has not yet received signal from the Founder on Target Two authorizing SMP to begin broadcasting.”

“An obscure clause in the Founder’s last will and testament requires his direct permission by Telex radio communication from T2 before ‘any Scientology entity may broadcast tele-vision or radio waves containing copyrighted Scientology content into the public airwaves.'”

“T2 is many light years away. SMP expects to get operational authorization from T2 in about 25,000 years,” Delusion noted. “And when we get that authorization, the station is ready to flip a switch and begin broadcasting. Until then, there are COB events and LRH Congresses to listen to for the next 25,000 years.”