“COB will soon release OT IX and OT X,” enthused Dr. Frank Wonderman, the Executive Director of OT Nirvana Services at Flag Land Base. “And by way of lifting the curtain on […]
OT IX and OT X to be Released Soon!
The Church of Scientology Has Suffered Irreparable Damage!
“Although we in the Church of Scientology have the exact technology needed to handle anything in life,” declared OSA Director for Legal Affairs Mr. Frank Wonderman, “we nevertheless do not have, err, […]
Captain Miscavige Dined Alone that Night
Captain Miscavige often dons his tuxedo and dines alone at night, this as proven by an actual photo: We in RTC are aware of a doctored “rogue photo” circulating online that tries […]
Captain David Miscavige Cancels Sea Org Reunion
“Captain David Miscavige cancelled the Sea Org Reunion that was planned for next week’s grand opening of the Ideal Pacifica Sea Org base and the new Hollywood Test Center,” announced Church spokesman […]
Church of Scientology to Implant Members
“As part of GAT II, COB RTC David Miscavige has ordered all Church of Scientology parishioners to be implanted with a special RFID (NSA grade) chip that will track their movements and […]
Office of Special Affairs Targets Orange County, California
Acting upon secret orders from Captain David Miscavige, shock squads from the Church of Scientology’s Office of Special Affairs moved quickly under the cover of darkness. OSA agents fanned out across South […]
The Golden Age of Magical Breakthroughs
“The Golden Age of Magical Breakthroughs is here!” enthused Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. And with those words, Delusion ushered in COB’s latest new technical revolution. “What the Golden Age of […]
Why Do You Hate COB?
Why do you hate COB? Church of Scientology sec checkers have been finding “I hate COB” as the withhold behind so much of the natter, enturbulation, gross out ethics, and sabotage these […]
Church of Scientology Lowers Drug Murders in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico by 83%
“The Way to Happiness is responsible for reducing drug murders in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico by 83%,” enthused Dr. Frank Wonderman, the Executive Director of The Way to Happiness Foundation. “What happened down […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 