“You can run but you can’t hide,” declared Sea Org Commander Linda Beater, CO of BSOMRU (Blown Sea Org Member Recovery Unit). “And so when Melden Fenster blew the Sea Org in […]
The Freewinds Crippled and Adrift in the Ocean!
“The MV Freewinds has run out of fuel, electrical power, and food somewhere between Aruba and Cartagena,” reported Commander Ken Delusion of the Scientology Maritime Bureaux. “The ship is now drifting aimlessly […]
Costume Fundraising Now a Bridge Action!
“Following COB’s ecclesiastical triumph of relocating the Purif and TR’s and Objectives to their rightful place high atop the Bridge after New OT VIII, Mr. Miscavige has now found another piece of […]
The Scientology Interfaith Project Presents Evangelist Johathon Bell
We in the Church of Scientology recently had our girl Sylvia Stanard speak at an interfaith gathering. Sylvia’s soul-stirring speech at Chautauqua has been acclaimed for excellence in religious truth-telling. In the […]
Attention Men: Scientology Wife Auditioning Services Now Available to the Public!
Are you a wealthy, hideous, lonely narcissistic man who wants an obedient trophy wife? If so, we in the Church of Scientology can make your dreams come true with our new Wife […]