Ecclesiastical Leader Monthly Magazine
New Scientology Earth Phone Released
“The new Scientology Earth Phone makes it possible for any Scientologist to call any other Scientologist on Earth,” announced Church spokesperson Stayta Kleer. “But rather than relying upon dubious 21st century NSA-infested […]
The Phone Call No One Wants to Get from OSA
The phone call no one wants to get from OSA: Note: This shoop was found online and was not created by OTVIIIisGrrr8! We credit the unknown author for this gem. Please contact […]
Filthy Godless Russian Communists Attack Church of Scientology
Godless Russian leader and SP Vladamir Putin today attacked the Scientology religion. It happened in Moscow when Putin had his kangaroo court rule that Scientology is a business and not the world’s […]
Church of Scientology to Offer “Black Friday” Specials
“The deep retail discounting during traditional American religious holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas has cheapened and devalued religious faith,” lamented Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “Frankly,” Delusion confided, “past Black […]
Tom Cruise Movie Stunt Goes Badly Wrong
Buoyed by the success of his Airbus plane-hanging stunt in Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, Scientology OT and actor Tom Cruise decided to “up the gradient” to the next level of airplane stunt […]
Breaking News: Xenu Located in Hemet, California
Evil galactic spacelord Xenu has been located today in Hemet, California. Posing as the ecclesiastical leader of Scientology, the cosmic tyrant is considered mentally unhinged and dangerous. Citizens are warned not to […]
“Operation Rescue Tom Cruise” Announced by Oprah Winfrey Network
“Between Leah Remini’s Troublemaker and Alex Gibney’s Going Clear the spotlight on Scientologist Tom Cruise has become far too intense,” declared Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “Tom Cruise is freaking out […]
COB RTC David Miscavige Shows How to Correctly Slug PC’s Using GAT II Tech
Acclaimed as a child prodigy auditor at St. Hill for putting in harsh ethics on his preclear in session by use of a quick rabbit punch to the stomach, COB RTC David […]
Scientology Boss David Miscaviges Assigns Jared Fogle to Create Pedanon
COB RTC David Miscavige has assigned new Church of Scientology spokesman Jared Fogle to the Sea Org Felons Unit (SOFU). A unit within OSA, SOFU is the successor of the Guardian’s Office […]
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