Welcome to the Church of Scientology. You have made a very wise decision to improve yourself through the use of Scientology’s highly effective spiritual technology. Scientology’s highly secret spiritual technology will allow […]
Reverend David Miscavige Voted “Best Religious Leader in the World”for 27th Consecutive Year!
“The World Holiness Ordained Religious Educators Society has unanimously voted the Reverend David Miscavige the “Best Religious Leader in the World” for the 27th consecutive year in a row,” declared Church of […]
Church of Scientology to Guard the World’s Bathrooms from the Transgender Menace!
“Just as we in the Church of Scientology guard the world from suppressive persons (SP’s), psychiatry, and psych drugs, we will now be guarding the bathrooms of the world from the transgender […]
Lisa Marie Presley Disrepects Fleet Admiral David Miscavige!
…Tony Ortega reported that ex-Scientologist Lisa Marie Presley, the daughter of Elvis Presley and former wife of late pop legend Michael Jackson, has been plotting to covertly undermine the leadership of the […]
Scientology, the Coming Pole Shift, and You!
Data collected by experts at the Scientology University of Science conclusively proves that the Earth’s poles will shift within the next 6-8 weeks. When the pole shift occurs virtually all life on […]
Church of Scientology Seeks Disaster Status from FEMA
“The Church of Scientology has recently been pummeled by unparalleled mudslides of entheta — and even more serious mudslides are expected in the next fifteen days,” declared CSI Disaster Management Director Ms. […]
Scientology Responds to Louis Theroux’s “My Scientology Movie”
Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion held a press conference today at Scientology Media Productions wherein he declared to the assembled homo sap media, “We in Scientology strenuously object to Louis Theroux’s […]
Newtonian Physics and Scientology
Newton’s First Law of Motion states that a body at rest will remain at rest unless an outside force acts on it. According to Newtonian physics, then, Scientology’s Ideal Orgs will remain […]
Scientology has no policy on Disconnection
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige today staged a a press conference in the rundown slum of Echo Park to express his ecclesiastical outrage at a billboard that paints the Church of Scientology […]
Ideal Pacifica Bridge Execs Busted as STATCRASHERS!
Dr. Frank Wonderman, CO INT Statcrash Police, today announced that all of the execs of the Ideal Pacifica Bridge (AOLA, ASHO and LA Org) have been busted and were ordered imprisoned for […]