“In a revolutionary breakthrough for the ages,” said Dr. Ken Delusion, “New OT10 James Swope-Covington caustively dropped his body, died, and was pulled into an Afterlife Implanting Station on Mars!” “Whereupon, he […]
“How the f*ck does this happen?” screamed COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige. “How does a breakfast sandwich outsell Scientology for 50 years?” “The agonized fate of every man, woman, and child on […]
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Humanitarian Crisis Unfolds as The Freewinds Becomes Stuck in Suez Canal. Millions of Muslims in the Middle East Denied Scientology!
“The Freewinds was steaming through the Suez Canal to deliver the OT levels to millions of Muslims in the Middle East clamoring for Scientology,” explained Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Muslim world […]
“It’s not what it looks like,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Brigadier General was merely helping COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige with a wardrobe malfunction.” “That this was escalated into a […]
“Due to the highest ever straight up and vertical expansion resulting from Scientology TV, Scientology is now outsourcing some of its BT exorcism workload to the Catholic Church,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. […]
In response to a recent survey of Scientology parishioners, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has ordered all Ideal Orgs to install for-pay toilet paper dispensers. This will allow Scientologists to purchase either […]
“We in the Church of Scientology have been the victims of fake news for decades!” proclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “These fake news stories about Scientology have been spread by the unholy […]
The Psychiatric Illuminati Behind “Burning Man” Incinerate Mankind’s Only Hope of Salvation in a Scientology Witch Hunt
“Once again the Psychiatric Illuminati have attacked Mankind’s only hope of salvation when they burned Scientology scripture in their Scientology witch hunt,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Freedom Magazine has discovered that […]
After the FBI cleared Hillary Clinton of a felony violation of “Section 793(f) of the federal penal code (Title 18): With lawful access to highly classified information she acted with gross negligence […]