“It’s not what it looks like,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Brigadier General was merely helping COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige with a wardrobe malfunction.” “That this was escalated into a […]
“Due to the highest ever straight up and vertical expansion resulting from Scientology TV, Scientology is now outsourcing some of its BT exorcism workload to the Catholic Church,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. […]
In response to a recent survey of Scientology parishioners, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has ordered all Ideal Orgs to install for-pay toilet paper dispensers. This will allow Scientologists to purchase either […]
“We in the Church of Scientology have been the victims of fake news for decades!” proclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “These fake news stories about Scientology have been spread by the unholy […]
“Once again the Psychiatric Illuminati have attacked Mankind’s only hope of salvation when they burned Scientology scripture in their Scientology witch hunt,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Freedom Magazine has discovered that […]
After the FBI cleared Hillary Clinton of a felony violation of “Section 793(f) of the federal penal code (Title 18): With lawful access to highly classified information she acted with gross negligence […]
Church of Scientology Media Relations VP Ken Delusion confirmed today that Scientology ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige has hired Jared Fogle to be a spokesman for the Church’s new Scientology Media Productions unit. […]
Flush from his historic and triumphal Papal visit to Oildale, Scientology Pontiff David Miscavige today ate breakfast with the common people at an IHOP in Fresno, California. “Pope Miscavige is working hard […]
Paramedics were called today when the Church of Scientology experienced a violent public outburst followed by a massive panic attack brought on by HBO’s Going Clear winning three Emmy’s. “The rageaholic 65-year-old […]
“And now you know the rest of the story.” explained Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Project Mouse Table was needed for COB to actually write down the numbers involved in OTIX and OTX, […]
