“Flag Land Base has gone criminal!” declared Senior International Ecclesiastical Sec Checker and Interim IJC Captain Davis Jackinov. “Fleet Admiral Miscavige entrusted Flag to forward command intention with our new 21st century […]
“We in the Church of Scientology wish to point out that planets don’t clear themselves,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Clearing costs money as do Ideal Orgs, dissemination centers, hyperbaric implanting chambers, […]
“Captain David Miscavige is inviting you to drop by your nearest Ideal Org to experience the new Sec Check Lite!” enthused Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Designed by RTC to handle your crimes […]
In an ecclesiastical miracle for the ages, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has just found the LOST TECH OF ARBITRATION. Written by the Founder in 1982, this lost tech proves that arbitration […]
There is nothing wrong with your internets. This is only a test of the SP Broadcasting System. Do not attempt to adjust the entheta. We are controlling transmission. If we wish […]
OT SUCCESS STORY “One day I was accused of beating numerous members of an unincorporated religious order. “However, this couldn’t possibly be true because this religious order doesn’t legally exist and therefore […]
North Korea declared today “Humanitarian David Miscavige Day.” An award ceremony was held at the Holiday Inn in Pyongyang. Goat meat, potatoes, powdered milk, rice, and healthful Russian vodka was served. Humanitarian […]
Embattled NBC news anchor Brian Williams has turned to the Church of Scientology for help. Williams knows that Scientology’s proven ability to handle crisis PR is vital if he is to save […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 