Due to the BILLIONS of people clamoring for more Scientology events, the Church of Scientology will increase its number of annual events, this according to Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “The Church presently […]
Church of Scientology Now Offering Full Refunds!
“The Church of Scientology is now offering full 100% refunds on any training, auditing, books, courses, and all donations for anything that Scientologists were not happy with in any way,” announced Church […]
Church of Scientology to Commence Religious Whaling Operations
“The Church of Scientology will commence whaling operations next week,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion announced during a press conference at Scientology Media Productions in Burbank. “While we in the Church of Scientology […]
Scientologist Juliette Lewis Uses Psych-Funded Media to Attack Psych-Funded Media
Scientology OT Juliette Lewis today used Psych-funded media to attack Psych-funded media. Speaking to The Daily Beast, a publication wholly owned and controlled by the Psychs, Juliette Lewis revealed what actually happened […]
Long Island at the Epicenter of Scientology Planetary Expansion!
Led by Patron Triple Scoop, Diamond Laureate Excelsius IAS, and New OTVIII William “Big Billy” Parks, the Long Island OT Committee is at the epicenter of Scientology Planetary Expansion. “As you can […]
Church of Scientology Medal of Honor
Captain David Miscavige is pleased to announce the striking of the highest medal of donation in the Scientology ecclesiastical hierarchy of medals of donation. The new Church of Scientology Medal of Honor […]
New Church of Scientology Ad Campaign for Fall 2014
“The Church of Scientology’s new ad campaign for Fall 2014 is based upon a popular internet meme,” Church spokesman Ken Delusion announced during his daily press briefing at the Scientology One News […]
Announcing Flag’s “All You Can Audit” Special!
“Folks are just so doggone crazy about those “all you can eat” specials at wog restaurants,” observed Dr. Eldon Weiner, CO Marketing Development, Flag Land Base. “The Olive Garden offered its a […]
Blown Sea Org Member Recovered After 43 Years!
“You can run but you can’t hide,” declared Sea Org Commander Linda Beater, CO of BSOMRU (Blown Sea Org Member Recovery Unit). “And so when Melden Fenster blew the Sea Org in […]
The Freewinds Crippled and Adrift in the Ocean!
“The MV Freewinds has run out of fuel, electrical power, and food somewhere between Aruba and Cartagena,” reported Commander Ken Delusion of the Scientology Maritime Bureaux. “The ship is now drifting aimlessly […]