Tag Archives: Scientology

The Faith Tones to Appear at Scientology Fundraiser


The Christian songstress trio The Faith Tones will be appearing this weekend at Flag’s annual fundraiser for COB’s birthday present. Their appearance at Flag proves that we in Scientology are very Christian. We are also very Muslim.

The fact is that we in Scientology have a cloying willingness to ingratiate ourselves with all kinds of groups. We do this in order to trick the Wog World into believing that we’re just like everyone else. Sure, we in Scientology are just normal people. Except we have all the answers and know the secrets of the universe!

Dr. Phil Interviews Scientologist Joy Villa — Or is it Joy Violence?

Dr. Phil: We have Joy Villa on the phone. In 2007 Joy was arrested and booked under California penal code 273.5(A), which is domestic violence with injury to a spouse. And yet she now says she wants to run for Congress. My question: Joy Villa what makes you think you’re fit to run for Congress? Have you resolved your anger issues?

Joy Villa: Dr. Phil, I think we need to focus on making America great again and not on the past.

DP: But you beat your boyfriend in the middle of the street after getting in a fight with your own mother and beating her. And you were arrested…

JV: Floridians need infrastructure and that’s my number one priority if I run for Congress… roads, handling traffic…

DP: Joy you’re not answering my question. I also need to remind our viewers about these dominatrix photos of you that are all over the internet. And then there’s Scientology. You’re very involved in Scientology and yet claim to be a Christian. Seems to me you’ll do anything to get attention and have never confronted your anger issues…

JV: It’s not anger or rage. It’s what Scientology calls an implant. This all started 75,000,000 years ago. And I can handle these implants once I get to OTIII…

Scientologist Joy Villa: A Working Professional

Scientologist Joy Villa is a working professional who wears many hats: Dominatrix, singer, Pseudo-Christian Evangelical, GOP MAGA Cheerleader, and potential US Congressional candidate.

“Dianetics helped me be a better dominatrix,” Joy explained during her recent appearance on Scientology Media Production’s new show Keeping Up With Joy.


“And when I went Clear at the Scientology Celebrity Centre is was like ‘Wow! No more reactive mind!’ This is when I realized I didn’t give a fuck because I was now cause over the MEST universe.”


“Once I went Clear, I’m stopped being PTS as hell like Tom Cruise and so I don’t go around breaking my ankle and ruining film schedules!”

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“COB RTC David Miscavige personally selected me to be Scientology’s International Goodwill Ambassador after Jenna Elfman’s disaster on Imaginary Mary. And Kirstie Alley? COB told me she was a No Case Gain and to distance myself from her as far as possible.”

“And stay a million light years away from that degraded being Danny Masterson!” COB warned me.

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“As Scientology’s International Goodwill Ambassador I take the various mocks up I’ve created very seriously. After all, identity politics are very important to me: I am a Floridian, a Native American, a Christian, a Grammy considered signer, a working professional and whatever else I need to be. I can put on any disguise in order to get what I want. Wogs are really easy to fool.”

Joy Villa then asked the ladies a very provocative question:

When asked if she wanted to add anything, Joy Villa said, “I want to thank COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige for making this all possible. Thank you COB. Thank you sir!”

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Finally! Wog Television Gets It Right!

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The Hollywood Reporter today announced that Scientology OT8 Jenna Elfman has been recruited as a regular on season 4 of “Fear the Walking Dead.”

Finally! Wog television gets it right! Jenna’s career has been part of the Walking Dead for decades. Now she has a role that uniquely fits her strange and unfunny OT beingness.

 

Scientologist Bobby Villa to Run for US Congress

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Scientologist and New OTVIII Bobby Villa, owner of Villa Investments LLC of Tampa Bay

“My sister Joy Villa is really stupid,” declared New OTVIII Bobby Villa. “You’d have to be a moron to vote for her for Congress. Joy is a completely occluded case who can’t run wholetrack. Worse, she pretends to be a Christian and does all this phony praying. Why is she so ashamed to tell the world she’s a Scientologist? I’m not afraid to tell anyone. I want everyone to be a Scientologist because we’re so theta!”

“Joy wore that asinine MAGA dress to the Grammy’s and she thinks that makes her fit for Congress? Oh hell no! She’s too stupid. Her OCA is one of the lowest ever scored in the entire history of Scientology. Joy’s IQ is 16. And her 2D Thurston Howell is even worse. He’s a doormat who does whatever Joy tells him.”

“I’m the only Villa who’s fit to run for Congress,” insisted Bobby. “I’ve done all three L’s and my IQ is over 200 as measured by the Oxford Capacity Analysis. I have a degree in business from the Hubbard College of Administration. I’m ready for Congress. Joy’s not ready for anything except cleaning dumpsters with a toothbrush — and she’d even manage to get that wrong. Joy can’t even tell the difference between plastic fencing and a dress!”

Joy Villa wearing orange plastic fencing on her head and body

Is Your Baby Secretly Plotting to Strangle You While You Sleep? Scientology Can Help You Find Out!

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“Don’t be taken in by their being cute or cooing. Babies are actually trillion year old thetans in new bodies,” said Senior C/S Int Ken Delusion. “And some babies come here from other planets with evil purposes.”

“Your baby might have been sent here by the Psychs to secretly destroy you,” Delusion warned. “Don’t take chances! Get your baby arrived at Flag immediately for an Infant Sec Check. Priced at only $50,000, this sec check may save your life by helping you to discover if your baby is actually a Marcab out to strangle you when you sleep!”

“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige won’t go anywhere near these little BT-infested ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ type of evil thetans,” Delusion noted.

Scientology Media Productions Inaugural Broadcast