We Hear Things
How David Miscavige Destroyed the Rogue Scientology Regges Behind the Chase Wave Credit Card Fraud!
We in Scientology hasten to remind the public that we are the most ethical group on the planet. There has never been any “Chase Wave” or even a scintilla of financial irregularity […]
The Joel Osteen Effect: Scientology Orders all of Its Bathroom Walls Ripped Open in Search of Hidden Stashes of Money
Upon learning that a janitor found $600,000 in cash and checks hidden inside a bathroom wall in Joel Osteen’s church, Scientology leader David Miscavige has ordered all bathroom walls in Scientology ripped […]
Scientology Can Help You Fend Off Unwanted Midnight Alien Sexual Advances
If Sharon Gilbert had the exact Scientology technology for fending off unwanted midnight alien sexual advances then the Xerxes impersonator would have never accosted her in her own bed. Worse, Sharon’s husband […]
McDonald’s Egg McMuffin Turns 50 Years Old; Curiously Continues to Outsell Scientology
“How the f*ck does this happen?” screamed COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige. “How does a breakfast sandwich outsell Scientology for 50 years?” “The agonized fate of every man, woman, and child on […]
From BT’s to lava flows, volcanoes have been the bane of Scientology’s existence for 75 million years!
“From BT’s to lava flows, volcanoes have been the bane of Scientology’s existence for 75 million years.” — Dr. Ken Delusion, Nuclear Physicist. “So long as the MEST Universe, volcanoes, Targs, Marcabian Implanters, […]
David Miscavige Goes Swimming in New Int Base Pool
Social Media Bigots Mistake Scientology Beekeepers on the Freewinds for Hazmat Team
“The Scientology Beekeepers Convention on the Freewinds was held in Aruba last week on the ship,” explained Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Some nosy wog on a nearby cruise ship filmed the Scientology […]
1954: L. Ron Hubbard Invents the Laser
L. Ron Hubbard. The Chromosphere Lectures, 1959: Back in the day, the Hubbard Association of Scientologists in Phoenix, we were selling light years by the box to cure cancer and whatnot. Stuff […]
Logging Into Disqus to Read Tony Ortega’s Underground Bunker
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 