Xenu is watching you on an omnipresent basis. Even when you sleep and dream Xenu is watching you for he never sleeps or dreams. You have good reasons to fear. You are […]
It Came From Outer Space
Scientology’s Wizard-Level Toilet Replacement Skills Amazes the Experts!
The toilet in a guest room at Flag was not flushing! Something had to be done about it and now! An expert plumbing crew was called in. Along with other experts from […]
David Miscavige: “I Am Not Insanely Jealous of Tom Cruise’s Blockbuster Monster Success with Top Gun 2!!!”
From his Scientology War Room in an undisclosed location, Scientology Supreme General for Life David Miscavige denied he was insanely jealous of Tom Cruise’s spectacular financial and career success with Top Gun […]
Scientology Leader David Miscavige’s Urgent Emergency Briefing! Mandatory Viewing Ordered!
During his six-hour sermon at Sunday’s weekly church service, Scientology ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige heroically declared of himself, “I am as woke AF!“ Mr. Miscavige then presented a highly confidential Power Point […]
Scientology Updates Its Course on How to Confront and Shatter Suppression
We in Scientology hasten to point out that while Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are not presently on course in Scientology, they are still stealth Scientologists. Will Smith’s Scientology training was proven […]
Scientology Junk Mail as Pop Art
We in Scientology mail out massive amounts of mail everyday. Our mail stream is a nonstop deluge of endless pleas beseeching people for money. Buy a book; take a course; go Clear; […]
The Los Angeles Rams Credit Scientology with Their Super Bowl Win
Los Angeles Rams spokesperson Dick Slagle said the Rams organization credits Scientology’s effective tools for life and livingness with their Super Bowl win. “Scientology taught the Rams what the Third Dynamic means […]
An Apparition of LRH Miraculously Appears in the Decon 7 Fog
While decontaminating an ordinary wog church in Hollywood with Decon 7, Sea Org member Ricardo Echevarria was stunned to see an apparition of L. Ron Hubbard appear in the Decon 7 fog. […]
David Miscavige: Facebook’s $225 Billion Stock Plunge is Due to Its Allowing Attacks on Scientology! Scientology Calls for FB to Immediately Deplatform all Anti-Scientologists!
Scientology Supreme Ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige declared today that Facebook’s stock price collapse was due to the social media giant allowing years and decades of attacks upon Scientology. Mr. Miscavige called upon […]
Retired Football Player Foolishly Turns Down $5,000 Fee to Do a Scientology Promotional Video
Retired football player Tom Brady turned down Scientology’s $5,000 cash offer to do a one-hour Scientology promotional video. Mr. Brady apparently thinks he has so much money he can turn down $5,000 […]
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