Following the LDS playbook, Miscavige retires the word “Scientologist.” New name reflects decades of groveling, simping, and cash-fanning for COB.
The “Church of Simpology” is Scientology’s New Name
Grant Cardone Opens Cardone 10X Living in an Implant Station on Mars
TEEGEEACK SECTOR / MARS APPROACH CORRIDOR — Grant Cardone, OT VIII, Cardone Capital founder, and the galaxy’s foremost authority on being the galaxy’s foremost authority, has announced the grand opening of Cardone 10X Living, the first luxury residential development purpose-built inside a Marcabian Implant Station in geostationary orbit above Mars.
Temu Scientology Launched to Lure Budget-Minded Conspiracy Theorists & Other Frugal Cultists into Scientology
In his efforts to make Scientology more affordable than ever, David Miscavige today announced the launch of Temu Scientology, the centerpiece of which is an $8.88 e-meter. “This new Temu e-meter is […]
David Miscavige and Heaven’s Gate Leader Marshall Herff Applewhite Come to Blows on FoxNews; Fistfight Ensues in Studio!
When Cult Leaders argue on Christmas Day, bad things can and do happen! The tiny terror midget David Miscavige of Scientology infamy hurled his meat body at Heaven’s Gate leader Marshall Herff […]
COB’s Special 2025 Speech to All Scientologists
“As we are assembled here today to celebrate the epic accomplishments of the last many decades of time which are but a brief breath in eternity, we pause to take note that, […]
It Came From Outer Space
Xenu is watching you on an omnipresent basis. Even when you sleep and dream Xenu is watching you for he never sleeps or dreams. You have good reasons to fear. You are […]
Scientology DOGE: “Deport Obsolete Genetic Entities”
Scientology today announced its mandatory euthanasia program designed to eliminate non-contributing Scientologists from this planet. The program is called Deport Obsolete Genetic Entities, or Scientology DOGE. “If a Scientologist can no longer […]
Church of Scientology to Assign 5,000 Sea Org members to fight for Russia.
“Burdened by the overhead costs of an excess 5,000 out exchange Sea Org members in a economic down cycle, i.e. a statcrash of magnitudes caused by the forces of suppression, Fleet Admiral […]
Ron’s New Year Greeting from Target 2 to Earth Scientologists
Joe & Mika Meet with David Miscavige; Will Scientology Buy MSNBC Before Elon Musk Does?
MSNBC “Morning Joe” hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski met with Scientology’s leader David Miscavige at Scientology Media Productions in Hollywood. “This is part of our larger effort at détente with people and […]
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