Church of Scientology Declared PTS to RTC

techWe in RTC have just declared the entire Church of Scientology PTS to RTC, this after the major statcrash in sales of the following:

  • Basics
  • GAT II services
  • Ultra Mark VIII e-meters
  • Super Power
  • IAS Patron Statuses
  • Library Donations
  • COB Christmas Fund

COB RTC David Miscavige worked heroically and monumentally to deliver these epochal and planetary-changing ecclesiastical products only to be met by:

  • Dilettantish Indifference
  • Natter
  • Make Wrong
  • Criminal Joking & Degrading
  • Disaffection
  • Excuses
  • Claims of “No Money”
  • Lack of OTness
  • Failing to appear for Reg Cycles
  • Blowing Reg Cycles
  • Scientologists going into Mutual Out Ruds on GAT II
  • Scientologists publicly departing the Church, a high crime
  • Scientologists going off course
  • Scientologists secretly reading Entheta websites

As a result, COB RTC David Miscavige has acted swiftly by issuing a record wave of SP Declares. The SP Declares will continue until VGI’s are seen once again in the Church, this as evidence by a turnaround in the stats. (VGI’s = Very Good Indicators that include laughing, smiling, and donating large sums of money)

The only stat that is straight up and vertical these days is COB’s with dozens of major products and cycles DONE. Conversely, the only stat that is up in the Church of Scientology in the number of SP Declares. That stat is up 10,982x as compared to previous RTC purges.

All eligibilities for everything are cancelled. The Church of Scientology is hereby placed into CONFUSION.

10 responses to “Church of Scientology Declared PTS to RTC

  1. “David Miscavige worked heroically and monumentally to deliver these epochal and planetary-changing ecclesiastical products only to be met by” a lawsuit from Mosey.

    “The Church of Scientology is hereby” declared the alter ego of David Miscavige, whom George Spencer, Esq. called the “pope” of Scientology after admitting that RTC and CSI were one and the same.

    I can’t wait until your deposition.

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  2. Dave, his most highest Grand Admiral of the Interstellar Sea, Miscavige relishes his chance to ravage the wog world with his deposition giving skills. All will tremble with excitement as Dave teaches the wog world what a true disciple of Eleraich can do. Who else can sell the same bridge 3 or 4 times? The Bridge and Port Authority of New York and New Jersey can only do it once and look at all the bridges they have. The beatings will continue until stats are straight up and vertical.

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  3. COB’s list of recent achievements could not even fit on the internet. I hear it was he that put up the IAS tent by himself and in one night, mind you. He personally called and invited all 32,486,541,666 scientologists to the opening of the Flag building. He doesn’t buy $6500 suites and shoes, he makes them himself. He even mines the ore needed and forges it into needles. The ONLY thing he asks of his parishioners is a few measly dollars for their own self improvement. I’ve given everything I have and still feel I’m betraying the Pope of $cientology.

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    • COB needs to either discard his body, or flee to the high seas like LRH, or start his own country. If he is the head of state of Thetacan City, soveriegn immunity will prevent him from being deposed.

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  4. OTVIII, why are you always reporting on those loathsome, downtrends here on this prison-planet ? Why don’t we get some good news and upstat reporting from Target-2 ? I’m sure the Pope of Popes will be heading there soon anyway with an operating target to set up the Reg-lines and punsiment-facilities, so ethics will be in and whatever values may be possesed by whoever, can be put into reserves beforehand. After all, don’t depend on one income-source only.

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    • Lars, we in RTC are working to put in Ethics here on Target 1. Therefore, we must coldbloodedly report time, place, and form of event.

      Nevertheless, we appreciate your commitment to wanting to hear only good and happy news. We wish all Scientologists were like you in this regard. But no, these Out Ethics pantywaist dilettantes only want to hear natter and the latest enemy lines.

      Hence, the purges have begun. The SP Declares will begin to hammer out of existence all noncompliance and CI on COB!

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    • Silly, silly John. Trying to use the ole “a product and exchange are integrally linked” routine on COB again?

      The Esto Tape 10 is always taken out of context by SPs.

      “Now, I’ve talked to you a lot about exchange and you say, “Well, it doesn’t have much to do with Scientology,” and we have here on Scientology 8-8008 on page one, we have the factors. And the factors mostly concern exchange, probably’ve never realized that before. Before the beginning was a cause and the entire purpose of the cause, the creation of an effect. In the beginning and forever is the decision, the decision is to be. Let’s assume a viewpoint and so on, and number seven is “And from the viewpoint to the dimension points there are connection and interchange. Thus new dimension points are made and there is communication.” Exchange. The truth of the whole thing is that a thetan does what he does so that he can exchange, and if a thetan can’t exchange anything, he gets very miserable and very unhappy and that is one of the reasons why production is the basis of morale, elementary. So therefore when I talk to you about exchange, I’m talking to you really about the factors and if you want to look into those, study it over, you’ll see that it all fits. It’s the way life runs.” – L.R.H.

      See? Plain as the finger up your nose – “Shut the fuck up and sign the fucking check” is all you need to know.

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      • COMMENDATION

        We in RTC very highly commend Dms Tcc for publicly R Factoring nattery Out Tech publics on the subject of exchange by using the exact datum:

        “The Esto Tape 10 is always taken out of context by SPs.”

        Dms Tcc’s certainty on, and knowledge of, the ESTO series mark him as an outstanding Admin terminal and a voice of sanity and reason in the Church of Scientology.

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  5. Still on your side

    I think I have had a cognition, I understood everything you, great master, have been trying to pound into our poor mortal heads. Let me translate for you, so the other peons will also cognitiate:

    `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

    “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
    The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
    Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
    The frumious Bandersnatch!”
    He took his vorpal sword in hand:
    Long time the manxome foe he sought —
    So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
    And stood awhile in thought.
    And, as in uffish thought he stood,
    The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
    Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
    And burbled as it came!
    One, two! One, two! And through and through
    The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
    He left it dead, and with its head
    He went galumphing back.
    “And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
    Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
    O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
    He chortled in his joy.

    `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

    Like

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