Scientology and Post Apocalyptic SP’s!

CSTDuring his inspection tour today to find out why Flag Land Base failed to launch Super Power and GAT II, COB RTC David Miscavige pointed out that having the Tech housed safely inside of CST vaults is not enough.

“The real danger,” COB observed, “is that when Scientology Ideal Orgs rise from the ashes of Armageddon, so too will the Suppressive Persons who seek to destroy us!”

“Therefore,” COB stated, “I have ordered RTC to etch the names of all Suppressive Persons onto steel plates and seal those in the CST vaults!”

“These ‘SP Plates’ will constitute the bad books of Scientology — and you don’t want your name in them! Indeed, the SP Plates will allow a post-nuclear OSA to locate and shatter all SP’s who try to infiltrate and destroy our Post Apocalyptic Scientology Ideal Orgs!

“We cannot be too safe,” COB emphasized. “When the SP’s are nuked in the coming Armageddon, they will grab new meat bodies and come back in order to continue their wholetrack campaign of terror to destroy Scientology!”

“And that is why I am handling the SP’s of the future right now using SP Plate technology!

“This $100,000,000 project must be fully funded — in cash — by the end of this week or the Church will not survive!” COB warned.

“Monies for the ‘SP Plates Project’ needs to be sent by wire transfer to a special IAS-like offshore account called the D.M. Trading Company. Located in the Grand Caymans, this special untraceable cash account will safeguard the future of the Scientology religion!”

“I need all Scientologists to act right now!” COB stated, “and in exchange whatever you need from the Church is yours. OT eligibility, a petition signed, a refund? I’ll personally sign off on anything you need if you send the cash in the next 72 hours to help prevent the Third Wall of Fire heading my way!”

14 replies »

  1. He’s making a list, and checking it twice
    Gonna find out who’s naughty or nice


    He sees you when you’re sleeping
    He knows when you’re awake
    He knows if you’ve been bad or good
    So be good for goodness sakwe


  2. I must have missed something.
    Why is Ringo Starr pointing his finger at the big guy?
    I didn’t realize he was ever in the SO.

    Otherwise, very interesting post. 🙂


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