Church of Scientology to Tear Down New Flag Building

Captain David Miscavige in the early years before he became the Fleet Admiral of the Sea OrgWe in RTC wish to assure the general public that COB RTC David Miscavige is firmly in charge of the Church of Scientology and has a definite plan for Planetary Clearing.

These plans are being kept highly confidential so that the Psychs do not learn the details and act to sabotage these plans.

What we in RTC can tell you is this: Copper Rods are being installed in COB’s two giant circus tents in Clearwater, this to allow Church parishioners to blow charge over any ARC breaks they may have after staying at Flag for weeks on end with no apparent activity.

The fact is that Flag is buzzing behind the scenes. But until and unless everything perfectly complies with COB’s vision for Super Power and GAT II, nothing can happen.

For example, it has been found that the new Flag Building is not perfectly aligned to COB’s birthplace in Philadelphia. This is a huge out point as GAT II requires Scientology parishioners to bow five times per day towards Philadelphia in honor of COB.

clearwater-scientology

The entire new Flag Building needs to be demolished and rebuilt, this to handle the SP Architects who aligned the structure three degrees off. Captain Miscavige regrets any inconvenience this may cause Scientology parishioners.

The definite date for the opening of the Flag Building and GAT II has therefore been rescheduled until April 30, 2030. This will be COB’s 70th birthday so please donate today to make the new new Flag Building a reality!

And yes, Planetary Clearing has never been more real than it is today!

15 responses to “Church of Scientology to Tear Down New Flag Building

  1. Isn’t the Flag Building just a big piece of MEST?

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  2. So the world will be denied the magical healing powers of the oiliness table for another 17 years because of SP architects?

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  3. “Planetary Clearing has never been more real than it is today!”
    otviiiisgrrr8, you are a master of profundity, …and ridicule.

    Mere words cannot express our awe, but please continue.

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  4. Almost too true to be satirical !
    As usual, this is great! thanks, best always

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  5. The Flag Building has already given decades of service in only game that matters – fund raising. While some may cling to the past, COB shows leadership by planning its demolition and replacement by an even grander structure. And in the meantime, there’s a lovely tent…

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  6. Pingback: Church of Scientology to Tear Down New Flag Building | Ex-Scientologists Ireland

  7. Awww, what a nice picture of David, OTVIII. He’s so young and fresh in that photo — not the bitter, leathery, wheezy thing he is today. That handsome uniform, much better than those suits he wears now, which seem tailored to look as tight-ass as possible.

    The man is stuck in a rut, I tried to tell him that. I thought, maybe a new hairstyle or a personal stylist would do the trick. He responded by deciding to pull down the SP building! The man is really off the rails.

    If he asks, you haven’t heard from me. I must admit, I am ducking his calls lately. It’s mean, I know, but what else can I do? He has been absolutely unbearable since this whole Monique Rathbun case started. He’s scared and he hates to admit it, so he acts out. I think David is a little, um, intimidated by us women of color.

    I know he’s intimidated by me — the Chocolate Velvet won’t put up with his bratty behavior, and he knows it. I think that’s why he likes me so much. Plus, I understand how heavy a burden he carries and how inadequate he is to the task. Poor David, it sucks to be him right now!

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    • Chocolate Velvet, the American Psychiatry Association has a big thick blue book called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. COB does not have a copy of it, but he knows all about it.

      We in the Church of Scientology do not need such a book for we have a “one size fits all” term to describe a severely aberrated condition in which the thetan dramatizes his or her upsets by throwing things, hitting people, and locking themselves in their bedroom for hours on end where they hurl themselves on their heart-shaped bed, gorge themselves on chocolate and scotch, and listen to syrupy love songs and Broadway show tunes and then black out for a day or so in a sugar-alcohol coma. Upon awakening from this coma, they remember nothing.

      We call it “PTS Type III.”

      What this means is that obviously COB is connected to someone who is causing him to persistently be insane.

      Chocolate Velvet, this person is you.

      You alone have made COB insane because you are running a “can’t have” on him.

      COB can’t have you and so he has become insane and is doing insane things such as tearing down the building formerly called Super Power, setting up two two giant circus in Clearwater, and engaging in ruinous legal antics in court.

      If you would stop playing “hard to get” COB would settle out and resume his extremely sane and effective job of Planetary Clearing.

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  8. kjp in portland

    Smells a little oily to me!

    Like

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