Tag Archives: Suppressive Persons

Scientology OT7 Richard “Big Dick” Bongo warns SP’s to Shut the Hell Up!

Scientologist OT7 Richard “Big Dick” Bongo warns SP’s to shut the hell up and stop talking about Scientology and the Aftermath or he will make them shut up!

“I’m goddamn sick and tired of hearing about this show,” exclaimed Big Dick Bongo. “And yeah, I know the show won an Emmy but so what? Those faggots in Hollywood make an Emmy sound like it’s some kind of  big deal. Well it’s not! And for the record I’d rather have my e-meter than an Emmy!”

Scientology & Disconnection

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The Church of Scientology is pleased to announce its newest venture: Theta Movers. This full service moving company is here to service all your moving needs when OSA has ordered you to move far away from neighboring SP’s, particularly when these SP’s are family who want to stop your Bridge progress.

“While we in the Church of Scientology most definitely do not practice Disconnection as portrayed by the ASC-controlled wog media,” said VP of Disconnection Services Mr. Ken Delusion, “We strongly feel that no Scientologist should be forced to live near any source of enturbulances or suppression who are hostile to their practice of Scientology and its policy of Disconnection, a policy that is widely misunderstood.”

“Disconnection does not ‘break up families’ as claimed,” emphasized Mr. Delusion who has not spoken to his own parents in ten years after they were declared SP’s for reading entheta on the internet, “Rather, Disconnection simply rearranges families and changes ‘communication‘ to ‘no communication.’ And indeed as the Founder said, ‘No communication with disaffected family members prevents a chaos of thinkingness, a flood of restimulative human emotion and reaction in which the gung ho Scientologist feels torn between the Church and his or her family. Dramatizing family is a homo sap weakness, nothing more than genetic entity think and the Homo Novis is a skyscraper higher than such concerns, particularly when Scientology so desperately needs more money.”

“It is a high crime, a violation of KSW to put family before the Church,” Delusion pointedly insisted. “And even my own parents know how easy it is to get back in touch with me. They simply need to do A-E, make up the damage they’ve done to the group, and strike an effective blow against the members of the group they’ve been pretending to be a member of. Marty has set a sterling example in this regard as he suffers up through the conditions.”

“In happier news,” said Delusion, “the new Hubbard Trailer Rancho has opened in Dunedin. Named after the Founder, this older trailer park was acquired by the ILO recently with IAS funds. The park features affordable single wide trailer homes and is intended for those Scientologists who don’t have the reach or wherewithal to afford a stick built home. And per Scientology policy, the Hubbard Trailer Rancho is ringed with a razor wire fence to keep SP’s out and Scientologists in.”

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New Scientology Ad Campaign for Spring 2017

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Who says Scientology isn’t pro-family? We in Scientology say that the family that Fair Games SP’s together stays together. Mom & Dad: Go Fair Game some SP’s today and take your children with you so they can learn the ways of Scientology!

Are You a Declared SP Being Harassed by Anti-Scientologists? There is Help!

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“We in the Church of Scientology have opened up a hotline for declared SP’s to call if they feel harassed by anti-Scientologists,”  declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Even though we totally ruined these people’s lives by declaring them SP’s, we don’t want to see them get their feelings get hurt on the internet by anti-Scientologists. That is how much we care.”

“Even for declared SP’s who have been viciously Fair Gamed by OSA, disconnected from their families, spied on, and harassed, these anti-Scientologists can be far worse! The fact is that these anti-Scientologists comprise a very dangerous cult that slavishly follows wild-eyed wog ideas such as Free Speech, heated debate in which barbed epithets are hurled, logic, reason, evidence, speculation, and breaking news — all things we in the Church of Scientology despise and oppose!”

“These horrible anti-Scientology cultists cluster around their special little hateful natter boards where they worship the owners of the natter boards! It is even more sickening than fawning Scientologists yelling ‘Hip Hip Hooray!’ to an enormous photo our dead Founder or applauding for hours and hours our dearly beloved and cosmically significant leader COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige!”

“These anti-Scientologists behave far worse than OSA, RTC, and the GO rolled into one! Worse, these anti-Scientologist Jokers & Degraders are possessed of a lavish, excessive, flamboyant, and clownish sense of humor that is dipped in shoops and deep fried in japery! Scientology is a deadly serious and grim activity — we can’t have any laughs here folks!”

Psychs Behind Skyrocketing Black Market in Counterfeit OT Certs

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With Scientology now the coolest religion on Earth, literally the Mouwad’s 1001 Nights Diamond purse of the mind, everyone wants to be an OT — even SP’s, DB’s, 1.1’s, wogs, spectators, dilettantes, Marcabs, porn stars, Venutian freight locomotive operators, and drug-addled hipsters, Even the suburban white trash in the San Fernando Valley want to be OT’s. However as the Valley OT Committee cannot fully fund its Ideal Org after decades of fundraising, there will be no new OT’s there for at least five hundred years.

Let’s face it: Not everybody can be an OT. Few people can be at cause over the MEST universe and change traffic signals to green at their command or postulate the best parking spots at the mall. And even fewer people have the staggering wherewithal required to fund the IAS Patron statuses necessary to be invited onto the OT levels. This is why only the biggest of the biggest beings become OT’s!

In order to destroy Scientology, the Psychs have started at the very top of the Bridge. Fleet Admiral David Miscavige has exposed a global Psych black market crime syndicate selling counterfeit OT certificates. These Psych gangsters are attempting to dilute to the enormous value of the OT brand by flooding the market with fake OT certificates. The most desired counterfeit cert is of course the coveted and rare OTVIII cert, this because, let’s face it, OTVIII is great!

We in RTC have ordered our operating arm OSA to capture these criminals, freeze them,  and then  transport them in Scientology’s 747 spaceplanes to a distant Earth-like planet. There, these criminals will be dumped into volcanoes and nuked. Only by taking such drastic measures can Scientology be saved.

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Scientology’s 747 space plane fleet will transport Psych criminals to volcanoes on a distant Earth-like planet and nuke them.

 

Welcome to the Church of Scientology – Indoctrination for New Members

Welcome to the Church of Scientology.

You have made a very wise decision to improve yourself through the use of our highly effective spiritual technology.

An exciting spiritual adventure awaits. Our copyrighted spiritual technology will allow you to precisely date locate, re-experience, and thereby erase all of the painful engrams stored in your reactive mind. And as you move with GAT II’s fastest-ever speeds up the Bridge to Total Freedom, you’ll quickly become a Clear who has no reactive mind — and then onto the summit of the OT levels!

Scientology’s electropsychometer — or “e-meter” as we call it — will probe the deepest recesses of your prurient, festering, and filthy self-absorbed mind, thereby relieving you of your hidden evil purposes and the vast reservoir of guilty secrets that lay hidden just beneath the surface. We know what makes you tick and it is not good.

The e-meter is your friend and so is your auditor. Likewise, all of us in the Church of Scientology are your friends.

We care so very deeply about you.

It is for this reason that you must, while in the recorded sessions with your auditor, unreservedly confess to us all of your horrible crimes and sins in order to free yourself. For example, we must know the intimate details of your secret drug-fueled masturbatory orgies. What detestable fantasies run through your head during these assuredly self-hating bouts of onanism?

And what of embezzlement, grand theft, or any other felonies you have committed and do not want the authorities to discover? We need to know the details of just exactly what you did, how you got away with it, and how much money is involved. Please be assured we can certainly make “problem money” go away very quickly thereby relieving you of any undue concerns.

As for your current marriage or primary relationship: If the other person is not a Scientologist, or is not willing to promptly become a Scientologist, why then they must be gotten rid of immediately. Drive them from your life now! If needed, we are quite proficient at helping make these hateful anti-Scientologists go away and even disappear. The same applies to any of your friends who are not friendly to Scientology. We are very friendly. As Scientologists, however, we simply do not care to associate ourselves with Suppressive Persons (SP’s).

SP’s are quite insane and are actually criminals. As such, SP’s are opposed to anyone getting better by using Scientology’s safe and effective drug free solutions to life.

For your own safety you must stay away from SP’s. We will tell you who and who is not an SP.

We are the most ethical group on the planet.

Your secrets are unquestionably safe with us.

Your auditing sessions are recorded only for internal training purposes.

You must help us help you. You must never try to hide anything from us. You must never keep any secrets from us or attempt to hide any money from us. You must never run away from us and make us come after you because we will.

Please do not confuse our intense love and affection for stalking. For instance, if you come to home to find your fellow Scientologists conducting a detailed inspection of your residence and possessions, you need not be alarmed. We are simply acting in your best interest by taking away from you those possessions we feel could harm you. Such possessions include, but are not limited to, computers and all other devices capable of connecting to the internet or placing calls to your so-called family and friends. We have issued you a two-way radio. You can call us if needed. When we call you on your radio, and we will several times each hour to check in on your progress, you must answer.

Instant obedience is the way of life in Scientology. You must use every waking moment to improve and perfect your instant obedience and commitment to the Church of Scientology.

You will be precisely indoctrinated in order to achieve the absolute state of spiritual enlightenment. This is achieved by a strict monastic regimen of painful and soul-rending confession, malnourishment, beatings, and sleep deprivation. While this intense monastic regime results in alternating states of giddy euphoria and abject self-debasement, we assure you this only a temporary state. Indeed, when the “extreme crisis phase” of this exalted spiritual state reaches its climax, the reactive mind rather unexpectedly and permanently erases. Suddenly you “go Clear” because you are Clear.

We will present you with a handsomely framed certificate verifying the State of Clear you have reached. This certificate may be displayed in your home. This certificate is all the proof needed to verify that you are an advanced spiritual being whose IQ and abilities mark  you as being better and smarter than the seven billion inferior people on this planet who are not Scientologists.

It is an actual scientific fact that when you improve yourself using Scientology you are vastly superior in every way to what we secretly call “homo saps” or “wogs”, i.e. non-Scientologists. You will eventually become an Operating Thetan, or “OT.”

And when you become an exalted OT VIII like Tom Cruise, you too will know the seventy-six trillion year old hidden Nazi history of Psychiatry. You too will be the only one who can help at the scene of an accident.

This completes your “Welcome to the Church of Scientology” Level 1.

Our uniformed security personnel will now escort you to Room 5A. There we need you to quickly sign some paperwork authorizing the Church of Scientology to implant a micro-GPS device behind your left ear. This device includes a sound chip. Should you fail to answer when we call you on your radio, this device will emit an undulating shrill pitch until you answer our call.

IAS Donations Give 47x More Case Gain Than Auditing!

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Sea Org Commander Svetlana Yuriev

RTC Commander Svetlana Yuriev of the IAS Upgraded Patrons Yabbering Organization United R6’ers (IAS UP YOURS) today reminded all Scientologists of the single most vital planetary-changing datum:

“IAS Donations give 47x more case gain than auditing.”

“This is an actual technical fact,” stated Commander Yuriev. “Research has shown that donations to the IAS increase case gain 47x, which is to say IAS donations blow away all Bridge actions including the so-called GAT II stuff.”

Commander Yuriev emphasized this point: “COB RTC David Miscavige’s research has conclusively proven that the 5,000 IJC justice actions conducted since 2002 all share one common overt. In 100% of all justice actions, the  failure to donate in sufficient magnitude to the IAS and the failure to regularly increase one’s IAS Patron status resulted in an out ethics situations that led to Suppressive Persons Declares and/or beatings.”

“In other words,” Commander Yuriev declared, “If you want real case gain, then stop wasting time on the Church of Scientology Bridge and start increasing your IAS Patron status now! We in the IAS are, after all, so much better than the Church and all of its Psych-infested Ideal Org dramatizations!”

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