We in Scientology hasten to point out that while Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are not presently on course in Scientology, they are still stealth Scientologists. Will Smith’s Scientology training was vividly […]
Get the SP!
Dad was driving the family’s Oldsmobile Vista-Cruiser when he spotted the SP in the crosswalk. Dad accelerated hard, and, with a hard-fixed Scientology glare, aimed the gleaming 5,000 pounds of Detroit steel […]
Danny Masterson Appearance at Scientology’s Christmas Party Cancelled
“Danny Masterson’s traditional appearance as Santa Claus at the Scientology Celebrity Centre’s Christmas gala has been cancelled,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion. When asked to comment on the allegations that Scientologist Danny […]
Welcome to Scientology
Welcome to Scientology. We’ll begin by having you get rid of your suppressive family. BTW, you can’t watch ScientologyTheAftermath or we’ll declare you an SP!
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige Announces ABF
“Entheta is up 3,000%,” announced Captain Ken Delusion, CO Entheta Particles Unit OSA. “Even with all he is doing, and all he has done, COB can’t open new Ideal Orgs fast enough […]
Scientology’s A Team Ready to Clear the Planet
Scientologists Greta Van Susteren, David Miscavige, Louis Farrakhan, and Tom Cruise stand ready to engage in Fair Game, Disconnection, and using all other Scientology Technology to clear the planet and build a […]
Lisa Marie Presley Disrepects Fleet Admiral David Miscavige!
…Tony Ortega reported that ex-Scientologist Lisa Marie Presley, the daughter of Elvis Presley and former wife of late pop legend Michael Jackson, has been plotting to covertly undermine the leadership of the […]
Welcome to the Church of Scientology – Indoctrination for New Members
Welcome to the Church of Scientology. You have made a very wise decision to improve yourself through the use of our highly effective spiritual technology. An exciting spiritual adventure awaits. Our copyrighted […]
OSA Director of Internet Combat Killers (OSA DICK) Dr. Werner Von Strudeldorf sat at his desk and concluded his analysis of the latest datums. “There is no doubt about it,” Von Strudeldorf […]
Lorne Michaels of SNL Arrested by the Church of Scientology
“This so-called SNL ‘parody’ is yet another Psych-funded Black PR attack upon the Scientology religion,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. Speaking with more than his usual degree of outrage, hostility, and bitterness, […]