“You want reality television?”asked disaffected OTV Don Newland, a bitter and nearly-bankrupt man who doesn’t give a shit if he’s declared an SP.

“Well the Church of Scientology is reality television at its fake worst! Everything in the Church is scripted and phony. Even COB’s soaring columns are made from foam that’s been spray-painted gold.”

“And COB’s story about the Founder ‘caustively dropping his body’? Please! That was as phony as it gets! Likewise, GAT I and GAT II were a bogus scripted giant money grab. Same thing with the Basics! That was just another COB money scam. And to think Scientologists actually believed COB’s ‘misplaced paragraphs’ and ‘malicious semicolons’ nonsense!”

“The Church of Scientology has always been a big phony reality television show. Even David Miscavige’s hair is fake and the guy wears elevator shoes. The Ideal Orgs are bogus and some of them don’t even actually exist. COB just takes some pictures of buildings off the internet and says, “Look: Here’s our future Ideal Org in (fill in city name). Fundraising begins now!”

Scientology’s Future Ideal Org in La Mierda