Scientology: The Marcabs Wanted You to Think It Was an Eclipse!

Eclipse

“The Marcabs aka the Psychs wanted you to think it was an eclipse — and they fooled everyone except true Scientologists,” said Dr. Ken Delusion, nuclear physicist and Executive Director of Scientology’s Extraterrestrial Threat Investigations (E/D SETI)

“A giant Marcabian mothership impersonated the moon and passed in front of the sun,” Delusion explained. “In doing so, the Marcabs scanned and electronically tagged all of the wogs in its path. These tagged wogs will be seized as prisoners in the Marcab mass landing — a landing which is coming very soon unless Scientology can get 10,000 people up and onto Solo NOTs, all Orgs become Ideal, and all Orgs become old St. Hill sized!”

“Scientologists were protected as they all dressed in tinfoil suits and took shelter in our lead-lined Ideal Orgs.”

“If you are a wog and were scanned and electronically tagged, your only hope is to get yourself into the Scientology Purification Rundown and the special Marcab Repair Rundown. A package price of $25,000 USD is available. Call now. Operators are standing by.”

7 responses to “Scientology: The Marcabs Wanted You to Think It Was an Eclipse!

  1. And those #### Marcabs stole my ruby slippers! How will I get away from the Marcab Rundown/Runover without them?! Wait, I’ll send them a Telex, they will faint dead away when they figure out I messed wit their tech! 💛 U OT8.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Shit!!! My Telex machine broke down and I didn’t get the message about the Marcabs from my Ideal Org Hubbard Communications Office. Now it looks like I’ll have to scrape up some cash to get this sit handled. How come when I walk by the Reg’s office I always feel like it’s my turn in the barrel. Again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Whenever you walk by any reg’s office it is your turn in the barrel. In fact, the Church of Scientology experience could be called “your lifetime in the barrel.”

      Only the tigers survive; suck it up buttercup!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. As the gentleman below likes to remind people…

    “Nobody puts the “info” in tinfoil like the founder…why aren’t you on course?”

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s