David Miscavige Makes It Official: He is Running for President in 2016!

DM.4.PresidentPrivate citizen and global ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige today announced that he is running for President of the United States.

“America needs aggressive new leadership. I’m the only one who can go to Washington DC and knock some damn sense into the SP’s and their Psych Masters in Congress.”

“Washington DC is full of proveable bullshit. I’m the ultimate outsider, the only tough sonofabitch who’s ready to go in and singlehandedly beat the wog homo sap establishment to a bloody pulp,” roared Miscavige from his podium at Deluxe Model Ideal Org #129 in Los Angeles.

“My platform is simple:

  • A return to the 110 hour work week that made America great
  • A minimum wage of .10 cents per hour to make America competitive
  • A return to the full legalization and celebration of cigarette smoking
  • The end of phony and unnecessary high school diplomas
  • The end of the wog education system
  • No taxes on the wealthy and superwealthy who become Scientologists
  • A 12% corporate flat tax to finance Scientology social betterment programs
  • The end of Obamacare and of all wog healthcare altogether
  • Mandatory weekly sec checks for all Americans
  • Driving the homeless and illegals into the oceans and drowning them
  • Public beatings of senators and congress people who screw up
  • Weekly public beatings of SP’s in town squares across America
  • The criminalization of Psychiatry and Psych drugs
  • The criminalization of the internet

“But most importantly at all, on the first day I am in office, I will issue a Presidential decree outlawing all attacks on religion on the internet, television, radio, newspapers, magazines, in the streets, and even in private homes. Any SP religious-hating bigots caught breaking my decree will be beaten and executed on the spot.”

16 responses to “David Miscavige Makes It Official: He is Running for President in 2016!

  1. You certainly have my vote sir! I can’t wait for every presidential address to end off with a hip-hip-hooray for Old Tubby Hubbard!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You can also count on my vote Captain David “let him die” Miscavige. You are the only one who can make it go right!
    I am having buttons made up. ” Pissant for president” with your picture!!! Get your soap box ready. You need a really big box otherwise they will just see your fluffy hair.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Will Big Lou be his First Lady or that one who’s missing and we don’t speak of?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Will the White House be moved to Hemet?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Based on recent polling, Miscavige is now the current GOP front runner by a wide margin.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The guy get a few OT10’s under his belt and suddenly he is a God. Go for it DM. Former Candidate for Governor of #Indianoplace Indiana 2012 Independent Public party of Indiana. It Is “I”.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I bet he gets 11 million votes.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. OT8, is Davey ready for the kind of scrutiny a candidate would get? You know, questions about his wife, about his using corporate money for personal use, evasion of taxes, lying about his company’s success, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Finally a candidate one can vote for!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Presidential Candidate David Miscavige Wins Debate | OTVIIIisGrrr8!

  11. Pingback: Confront & Shatter Technique Of Scientology's Mr Bell-End Is A Sight To Behold...More On 'My Scientology Movie'... Miscavige The Terrorist! - Scientology Bollocks

  12. The only thing I don’t like is that COB’s manifesto includes executions, but itt doesn’t state PUBLIC executions. think it’s very important to be public executions. That’s the only thing WOGs respond to. Also, COB should do something about all the suppressives in the media.

    Liked by 1 person

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