This Is a Test of the SP Broadcasting System

Underground Bunker.1

 

There is nothing wrong with your internets.

This is only a test of the SP Broadcasting System.

Do not attempt to adjust the entheta. We are controlling transmission.

If we wish to make the entheta louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper.

We control the horizontal. We control the vertical. We can roll the entheta, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity.

We repeat: This is only a test of the SP Broadcasting System. In the case of actual breaking news on the Church of Scientology, you would have been instructed to tune to The Underground Bunker or other official websites.

This completes our test of the SP Broadcasting System.

You will now be returned to the regular internets.

7 responses to “This Is a Test of the SP Broadcasting System

  1. It works and helps people.

    Like

  2. Tampering with entheta is profoundly dangerous and is likely to destroy one’s eternity. The protection a Scientologist gains from the Clear Certainty Rundown can be eroded insidiously if the volume of entheta is too loud and the focus too sharp, whereas for degraded beings it merely amplifies their demonic glee and lust for psych drugs.

    For their spiritual health, IAS members in good standing should avoid the Internet and wait until KSET starts transmitting theta programming which will halt the decline into the dwindling spiral of war, crime and insanity, elsewise all hope for mankind will be lost.

    This is true.

    Andrew

    Like

  3. Please do not colorize the entheta. It is best enjoyed in black and white.

    Like

  4. I can’t believe you just made me watch a $#@*%^ repeat of Bonanza.

    Like

  5. Well that was random… LOL

    Like

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