COB RTC David Miscavige is Missing! Part 4


Outside the window the impatient Scientology PI’s inspected the dirt planter and found fresh footrprints.

Kneeling to inspect them with his large magnifying glass, the lead PI exclaimed, “Elevator shoes. Bingo!”


A replay of security camera footage showed that, yes, a diminutive man had slipped out of the restroom window during the kerfluffle.

Astonishingly, he had to run to a waiting gray Honda Accord that sped off.

Upon further inspection, it was determined that the car was either gray, tan, or silver.

The car also had no license plates.


OSA was shocked: Had COB blown?

Or worse, had he been secretly programmed by a hidden Psych radio mind control device to blow?

And how could OSA find a grayish Honda Accord in the sprawling urban wog wasteland that was home to millions of grimy nondescript Honda Accords?


“But what if it wasn’t COB?” asked OSA Invest volunteer and legendary bass guitar player Billy Sheehan.

“What are you saying Billy?” demanded Church of Scientology lawyer Rick Moxon in his usual covert 1.1 tone of voice.

“What I am saying,” said Billy Sheehan, “is that the man running to car might not have been COB!”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous!” replied Rick Moxon scornfully. “It was most certainly COB who jumped out of the window and ran to the car.”

Turning to the PI’s, Rick Moxon demanded to know if they agreed with him.

“Yes sir, of course it was COB RTC David Miscavige getting into that car,” said the lead PI.

The other PI’s were quick to agree. Indeed, their work in the Church of Scientology had taught them to never disagree with, question, or backflash their well-paying client. Any disagreement was a quick way to get fired on the spot. The PI’s knew this and so did Rick Moxon — and he was in no mood today to get backflashed by wogs.

If anything, Moxon was elated to have COB missing so that he could finally be the “Big Man” in charge.

“Then it’s settled,” declared Moxon. “We need to find out where COB went and why!

“And you can leave Billy, you’re off  the case,” Moxon said dismissively as he waved the music legend out of the OSA office in the HGB.

OT Billy Sheehan turned and left the room; his keen powers of observation were not wanted or needed.

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