Upon learning that a janitor found $600,000 in cash and checks hidden inside a bathroom wall in Joel Osteen’s church, Scientology leader David Miscavige has ordered all bathroom walls in Scientology ripped […]
“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige’s order to board up Ideal Orgs across the US has resulted in a 100% end to the chronic and endless auditing errors and mistakes at the Ideal […]
“Scientology has no plans to close its Orgs,” said spokesman Ken Delusion. “There is no need to close them because the Orgs have already been empty for almost twenty years now.” “Now […]
Two members of the Fifth Invader Force landed on Earth some months ago in human meat bodies. The demented duo infiltrated Scientology organizations in an attempt at Joking & Degrading and Black […]
We in RTC vehemently object to Mike Rinder leaking details of Season Three of Scientology TV. Now we know why Mike keeps an SR-71 spy plane. Our sources reliably inform us that […]
Scientology TV’s new reality show is called On the Road with Dave. Starring COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige, the show follows Dave around as he tours Ideal Orgs and talks to ordinary […]
“With a glut of empty Ideal Orgs splattered across the continents of Earth, we in Scientology are hemorrhaging cash paying for the upkeep on all of this square footage. Accordingly, Scientology will […]
“We in the Church of Scientology can at last offer a coherent and wholly scientific explanation for the bizarre and violent behavior of our leader COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige. The explanation […]
We in the Church of Scientology firmly resolve to be a fully Ideal Church in every way in 2018. We therefore make the following resolutions: 1. We will raise all prices 4000% […]
In response to a recent survey of Scientology parishioners, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has ordered all Ideal Orgs to install for-pay toilet paper dispensers. This will allow Scientologists to purchase either […]
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