Tag Archives: Marcabs

David Miscavige Disappears Into Marcabian Space Portal

As COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige mounted the podium today to give the keynote address at the 1st annual Conference of Cult Leaders in Crisis, he sensed something was not right.

And indeed it was a trap for the stage set behind was actually a Marcabian Portal. Just as COB launched into his speech a high-pitched sound was heard. Whereupon COB was sucked into the Marcabian portal.

COB’s whereabouts remain unknown. A $500 reward is offered for information.

RTC Secret Galactic Interplanetary Memorandum

Emperor Revoltingdrool of the Helotrobus Confederation aka David Miscavige

COB RTC David Miscavige — whose real galactic identity is Emperor Revoltingdrool of the Helotrobus Confederation — had promised the Marcabs a choice 1.4 acre site in Downtown Clearwater as a landing pad for Marcabian implanting ships. This land was the linchpin of a very secret RTC-Marcab exchange deal.

“The Marcabs need this land to build an enclosed shelter in which they can safely harvest the body parts of Scientology OT’s. The Marcabs desperately need BT-free OT body parts to fortify their DNA, weakened as it is by eons of Psych drugs,” declared RTC spokesthetan Ken Delusion.

“BT’s inherently crave Psych drugs,” explained Flag medical director Dr. Juan Diego San Kool de Menthol. “Therefore, the appeal of OT BT-Free DNA is that it can be transfused into Marcabs without any resultant cravings for more Psych drugs. Conversely, transfusing BT-laden wog DNA creates an even worse craving for Psych drugs.”

“In exchange for OT body parts,” Delusion commented, “the Marcabs had agreed to give Emperor Revoltingdrool their GEN 4 implanting equipment for exclusive use at Flag. This new GEN 4 implanting equipment can be used to raise donations to Scientology by 47,000%.”

“But then Emperor Revoltingdrool was betrayed by a Psych conspiracy between CMA and the City of Clearwater. The Marcabs are furious. They are demanding that Emperor Revoltingdrool ‘do whatever it takes’ to snatch back that parcel of land from the City of Clearwater.”

“Emperor Revoltingdrool is considering an ultimatum: If the City does not convey the land to the Church by 0700 hours this weekend, then Dianetiks Tanks Battalion #8 will once again be deployed in Clearwater to impose Emperor Revoltingdrool’s iron will upon the wog citizenry of the decadent kicked-in-head City of Clearwater!”

Marcabs Invade PAC Base!

Marcabs.11

PAC Base Incident Report: 2213 Hours: Warships of the Marcabian Confederation decloaked and criminally penetrated Scientology airspace in an attempt to steal the OT materials. This violation of the RTC-Marcabian treaty may lead to war. Fleet Admiral David Miscavige has vowed to stop the recent unchecked episodes of Marcabian aggression and incursions into Scientology airspace.

Bottom line: The Marcabs will never get the OT materials and may never receive auditing in this or any other lifetime until they confess their crimes and give Scientology their exteriorization technology. We in Scientology need the Marcabian exteriorization technology because ours doesn’t work and never has.

When Thetans Drove Chrysler’s

sCIENTOLOGY.ORG

“1962. Except for a few Commies who had been sent in to cause trouble, everything was A-OK with Scientology.

“Back then we all smoked Kools and drove great big ol’ Chrysler’s just like Ron.

“This was the same year the so-called ‘UFO’ flew low down Main Street in broad daylight right there in front of the Kansas Org. We all knew it was a Marcab attempt to implant Kansans and bias them against Scientology.

“This, in my opinion, is when everything changed because, shortly thereafter, the FDA raided the Church.

“We in the Church of Scientology got a bad rap only because that Marcab beam ship did its deadly best and implanted the entire state of Kansas. The contagion spread and things kept getting worse.

“Now it’s probably about to get a whole lot worse.”