Church of Scientology Rushed to the Hospital Again! Prognosis is Dire!

cos.HOSPIRAL
After hearing that the A&E show Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath won the TCA award for Outstanding Achievement in Reality Programming, the Church of Scientology collapsed on the pavement and was rushed to the hospital and placed in intensive care for heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and an anxiety attack.

“This is the second time in less than a month that the Church of Scientology has been rushed to the ER of the Hollywood Religious Hospital,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “The prognosis is grim. Initial tests by Dr. Metah Bolic show a dangerous and inoperable Miscavige tumor in Scientology’s brain.”

“As reported by Ellen Thompson, Scientologist Elisabeth Moss was able to flee from the auditorium when it was announced that Leah had won. Elisabeth went Type III and is being held in an Introspection Rundown at PAC Base. As you can imagine,” Delusion noted, “Leah’s victory is a huge third dynamic engram for Scientologists. After all, they donated $100,000,000 for Scientology Media Productions, a downstat Org that has zero product in over a year.”

Ellen.Fabulous

 

3 responses to “Church of Scientology Rushed to the Hospital Again! Prognosis is Dire!

  1. The diagnosis of a Miscavige tumor means that Scientology is now a zombie organization. They have joined the ranks of the undead!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know what happens to a tumor. It is either blasted by radiation ( sorry Ron to upset one of your pet policy letters ) or it is taken out.
    My ruby slippers are glowing with happiness & light for Mike & Leah & all involved. So So Good! πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸΎπŸΎπŸ₯‚πŸ₯‚πŸŒ 

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We’d send flowers, but then we’d be out exchange. It is clear the Church pulled this in. Put the entire outfit on the RPF.

    Liked by 1 person

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