Pull Up Your Socks!

SocksAn Inspirational Talk and Call to Action by Dr. Eldon Weiner, CO BT

Dr. Eldon Weiner of Freedom Magazine

Dr. Eldon Weiner CO BT

Well hello there Scientologist!

With spring just around the corner it’s time to do our annual spring cleaning.

We begin by throwing out all of those old and unreliable Quantum meters that are now illegal and hence criminal.

The new meter is 50,000x more sensitive and so why would anyone want those lackluster old Quantum’s? Throw ’em out onto the garbage pile with any of the Founder’s old books printed before 2007.

And now onto the more important topic: COB wants every Scientologist to know that it’s time to pull up your socks!

I’ll repeat the command: It’s time to pull up your socks!

Speaking today at the Homo Novis Auditorium in Los Angeles, COB RTC David Miscavige announced that he will outlaw the internet in 2013 to protect Scientology and all other religions

COB RTC David Miscavige

COB is doggone sick and tired of all the defeatist natter in the Church. Not one single day goes by lately that Ethics isn’t handling natterers, or worse, Scientologists who are forwarding enemy lines and spreading defeatism.

Why to hear some Scientologists talk, you’d think the  Church of Scientology was on its last legs breathing from an oxygen bottle in some wog hospital room.

Well folks, I’m here to tell you that these nervous nellies are about to get a serious reality adjustment because COB has had it with pandering to a bunch of out ethics Scientologists who read the internet, get themselves all enturbulated, and then call everyone about “COB this” or “COB that” and whine about hard and unfair the Church is!

What a load of crap! I’m sick of it and so is COB! Time for some good ol’ RTC ecclesiastical beatings I say! If someone won’t pull up their socks why then *POW!* right in the kisser next time they natter or read entheta online!

So pull up your socks or else!

5 responses to “Pull Up Your Socks!

  1. ALL PRAISE FOR GAT II SOCK-PULLING TECH

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  2. whostolemycog

    We grew up in a wog household employing similar technology in a Pre-GAT II world…we’re sure most people will see the similarity to sock pulling tech.

    “Quit your damn crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!!”

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  3. That’s strange but I have this uncontrollable urge to grovel at COB’s feet. I guess Ron’s affirmations are still working. Oh the theta, the theta.

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  4. I see what you did there. “Pull up your socks” = Bend over

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