COB Orders: Don’t Contribute Money to SP Mark Bunker!

cropped-dm-avatar1.png“I’m issuing a global order forbidding people from donating to the fundraising campaign of SP  videographer Mark Bunker!” screamed COB at his staff.

“The psychs at the History Channel just attacked the Church!” COB shouted at his staff, “and now Bunker!”

“And what is it with the word “Bunker” anyway?”COB asked. “There’s Mark Bunker and the Underground Bunker. “They’re both totally suppressive, both totally psychotic!”

“Sir, you’re so right! They’re both totally suppressive, both totally psychotic, ” Ken Delusion obediently yelped.

“Sir, you are so correct! They’re both totally suppressive, both totally psychotic,” agreed Dr. Eldon Weiner.

“My dearest Comrade and inspiring leader, dear Sir,” declared Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman, “you are so devastatingly precise in your description: Those two SP’s are the most horrifically and incredibly suppressive psychotic beings who have ever existed on this entire prison planet! They need to be radioactively blasted into a million pieces and have glass shards shoved into their eyeballs while we kick them in their stupid faces with our boots and then bury them alive in a mineshaft, whereupon we will turn five hundred million poisonous and rabid wolverines loose on the stupid, stupid, deluded wogs who read false entheta online, after which we will causitively boom the Ideal Orgs at magnitudes never seen before ever in the history of the trillions of years of this horrible implanted and psych-infested universe with its stupid Christianity, Democracy, courts of law, and everything else that is hateful and gets in the way of the Church of Scientology and our weekly needs for huge sums of money!”

khrushchev-1“Do you see? Do you see?” COB said as he pointed an angry finger of accusation at Delusion, Weiner, McShane, Hamel, and others in the room. “Do you see why I promoted Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman and gave him a $10,000 bonus?”

“Comrade Dr. Wonderman DUPLICATES ME and the rest of you? YSCOHB!!!!

And why can’t OSA stop this:

11 responses to “COB Orders: Don’t Contribute Money to SP Mark Bunker!

  1. Doesn’t Bunker get all his $ from Big Pharma?

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    • He certainly does! I’ve seen him lurking about Clearwater – wearing his $5000 suits and always driven in the finest cars. He is always surrounded by his entourage while he sips expensive scotch and hobnobs with wealthy business leaders and celebrities while drunkenly regaling them with stories from Tom Cruise’s PC folder.

      Oh wait… that was actually David Miscavige.

      My bad, never mind…

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    • Not only does he GET money from Big Pharma, he also SPENDS huge amounts on Techno Rave parties in downtown Clearwater – allegedly by invitation from COBs twinsister. And we all know Big Pharmas involvement in this.
      Talk about vested interest !!!

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  2. RE: jgg2012 QUOTE: “Doesn’t Bunker get all his $ from Big Pharma?” … I do, and my “Big Pharma” check is late this month … WTF!!! 😉

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  3. You in RTC have revived my faith in spiritual channeling. It is as though there was a fly on the wall in Building 50 that could commune in spiritual harmony with a gnat somewhere up on that long abandoned but vital sniper nest called Eagle, far above the Golden Era compound, who somehow channels pure Clearsound audio and video to a blog on the internet. I haven’t actually heard the COB rant in person for 10 years but your post brings it back like it was yesterday. That is exactly how he talks and exactly how he thinks. Bunker donation on the way and thanks, your blog always brings a smile.

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  4. I just love that picture of COB. He looks so handsome and intelligent. I can´t help falling in love with him. I do love him in his uniform with all the medals even more though. Frank Wonderman looks real handsome too, but COB is my favourite!

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  5. Oh, I forgot to say, most importantly COB looks so spiritual – irrespective of his attire. That´s what makes me feel so attracted to him. Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman looks spiritual as well, yes, but nothing compared to COB!!! – Well, that´s just my opinion.

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  6. The “global order” from COB was really just an off the cuff recommendation, right? There is no such thing as a COB order in any form as I know of.

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    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      As Allan Cartwright made clear in his deposition, there is no such thing as a COB order. And so thank you for helping us to keep our legal ruds in. You are very highly commended and a copy of this will go in your Ethics folder.

      Like

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