COB RTC David Miscavige Saves America from the Fiscal Cliff

We in RTC are pleased to announce that COB RTC David Miscavige singlehandedly saved America from going offer the fiscal cliff, this thanks to his heroic behind the scenes efforts in getting Congress and the White House to cognite on the need for fiscal sanity.

“COB basically gave President Obama and Congress a cram on Ideal Org finance policy and how to use it to save America,” said Scientology spokesperson Ken Delusion.

As a result of his intervention in saving America, President Obama awarded COB RTC David Miscavige a seventh Presidential Medal of Freedom in a ceremony today at the White House:


Mr. Miscavige is a regular guest at the White House where he is frequently called upon by the President and Congressional leaders who need his help in sorting out America’s problems.

Despite offers from both parties to be their presidential candidate in 2016, Mr. Miscavige has declined as he sees his work of Clearing the Planet as senior to that of being a wog politico.

Moreover, as COB noted privately in late night remarks to Sea Org Admiral Tom Cruise over scotch, Congressional leaders are weak and would whine and complain and carry on and on if COB had to choke, hit, kick, or punch them in the face in order to get their Ethics in.

“Wog politicos could never cut it in the Sea Org,” COB stated bluntly.

In other news, the 1,950,671,017 Sea Org members the world over joined together in sending COB RTC David Miscavige 3D flows for a happy new year:

Happy_New_Year_SirAnd so we in RTC join all of the Sea Org in saying. “Happy New Year Sir!”

You can trust we in RTC when we say that 2013 is really going to be something for COB!

18 replies »

    • BTN, can we in RTC count on you to sign your billion year Sea Org
      contract in 2013?

      We need someone like you who understands wog culture and
      can put an end to this kind of entheta:


  1. Will this madness ever end? I have evidence of the Co$’s attempt to recruit tweens, teens and Gleeks of all kinds with their version of a classic song in a nauseating ode to COB. Here is the Co$’s horrific rendition of “To Sir with Love”, dedicated to the esleaziastical leader of $cientology. Be forewarned: Only Miscavige will find this version to be “music to his ears”.


      • Face it, boo. This is $cientology’s doing, not mine. If this is as horrific to you as it is to the rest of us, then you are now on the path to enlightenment. You are an S.P.!

        P.S. Where were you last night for my New Year’s Eve bash? I had a variety of fondue and we rung in the new year with the Ramones’ tunes from their New Year’s Eve concert at the Rainbow Theater in London from 1977. The concert is on You Tube, in case you want to see and hear Joey, Johnnie, Dee Dee and Tommy in their prime.

        Oh and by the way, you newly declared S.P.- You’re welcome! 🙂


  2. To you in RTC,
    Please extend my most sincere thanks to COB RTC David Miscavige for his fine work in saving America once again from disaster. I get upset every time I learn about how he has to once again bypass some world leader, and handle the danger in the situation personally. This Wog incompetence is such Dev-T, and not worthy of his time. But as you in RTC point out, he is just to theta and pan determined to allow out points to continue that will effect the planet.
    In response to this act of leadership and self sacrifice, I have convinced my brother to sign over his 401K to the IAS, and got my niece to join staff at the Fargo Ideal Org, as a show of support for COB RTC. He is such a BIG being!
    I have some others that are close to joining the SO, but their consideration to joining the SO is that they are holding out until they can see Chill EB in concert. While out ethics, it is understandable from a child’s point of view. Any idea how I could score some tickets?


  3. OT8, what happened to the New Year’s Eve gala Co$ was going to have at the Shrine Auditorium on December 28? Was it held? Was it sold out? Was Davey there? In 2005, it was packed.


  4. OT8,

    How fortunate that COB is on the job to assist the leaders of the western world in attaining fiscal sanity.

    I couldn’t help but notice that COB looks hunchbacked in the picture, however. Perhaps this is from carrying such heavy responsibilities on his diminutive shoulders? Possibly COB has a vertebral subluxation — and we all know how enturbulating those can be.

    One hopes that some of the many chiropractors helped by WISE courses will make themselves available to assist COB in regaining spinal health. Should that not be the case, I am acquainted with several individuals, many weighing under 300 pounds, who would be willing to assist in this regard.


  5. Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    *Spell check correction.

    Who wrote this??? The spelling and grammar was either cryptic or what I would expect from an elementary school student. Not to mention the hyperbole that “David Miscavige singlehandedly saved America from going offer the fiscal cliff”?! Nothing could be further from the truth.

    *Spell check correction.


    • Paul, you’re just another bigot and Scientology hater. And it is true that David Miscavige saved America — in fact he has saved America many times. As the real leader of the free world, David Miscavige and Scientology are all that stand between Freedom and Armageddon. If you had even one ounce of gratitude you would be down on your hands and knees thanking David Miscavige for all he has done for America and for you personally!


  6. Your response and assertion about David Miscavige (a megalomaniac with a messiah complex) can be summarized with one word, delusional. I am not a bigot, I am just a person with legitimate concerns about a faux religion that is more like a cult, founded by a science fiction writer.


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