We in RTC are pleased to announce that COB RTC David Miscavige singlehandedly saved America from going offer the fiscal cliff, this thanks to his heroic behind the scenes efforts in getting Congress and the White House to cognite on the need for fiscal sanity.
“COB basically gave President Obama and Congress a cram on Ideal Org finance policy and how to use it to save America,” said Scientology spokesperson Ken Delusion.
As a result of his intervention in saving America, President Obama awarded COB RTC David Miscavige a seventh Presidential Medal of Freedom in a ceremony today at the White House:
Mr. Miscavige is a regular guest at the White House where he is frequently called upon by the President and Congressional leaders who need his help in sorting out America’s problems.
Despite offers from both parties to be their presidential candidate in 2016, Mr. Miscavige has declined as he sees his work of Clearing the Planet as senior to that of being a wog politico.
Moreover, as COB noted privately in late night remarks to Sea Org Admiral Tom Cruise over scotch, Congressional leaders are weak and would whine and complain and carry on and on if COB had to choke, hit, kick, or punch them in the face in order to get their Ethics in.
“Wog politicos could never cut it in the Sea Org,” COB stated bluntly.
In other news, the 1,950,671,017 Sea Org members the world over joined together in sending COB RTC David Miscavige 3D flows for a happy new year:
You can trust we in RTC when we say that 2013 is really going to be something for COB!