COB RTC David Miscavige is inviting you to come in to your nearest Org so we can sort things out and get you back on the Bridge where you belong.
2013 is a new year and we in RTC need you back in the Church helping us to clear the planet. Seriously, whatever evil purposes you had to destroy the Church of Scientology can be handled.
Whatever sick, destructive, psychotic and evil things you were doing to harm the Church of Scientology you were doing because you read entheta and lies on the internet. This can all be handled and it must be handled. Report to your nearest Org and start cleaning up your life.
COB will help you create your Ideal Scene.
For example, COB’s newly designed steps A-E are easier than ever:
A. Donate whatever money, cars, or jewelry you have left to the IAS. Basically, you need to give us whatever you have so we can resell it for cash. COB is in dire need of cash due to worldwide emergencies! You need to step up and help COB handle a world spiraling out of control!
B. Debrief OSA on the people you know who are spreading entheta and are out to destroy the Church of Scientology. We want full names, addresses, cell phone numbers, employers, e-mail addresses, and names of friends and family members. We need all e-mails, chat logs, and photos as well. COB has ordered the entheta to be stopped in 2013 and you are expected to do your part. We want the names of those under the radar, on the fence, and sideliners.
C. Join the Sea Org. Now more than ever we need people to handle the straight up and vertical expansion. Weekly pay is still about $11.00, but the food is better thanks to the Velvetta cheese we are now adding to the rice and beans. Meals are more flavorful and have fewer insect parts since we busted several OSA executives and sent them to the galley to wash dishes.
D. Sign whatever OSA attorneys put in front of you and don’t ask questions. Just sign the papers and then you will be coached on what to say in court. Don’t worry about this part, just trust us on this.
E. Because we in the Church of Scientology do not practice Disconnection, you do not have to disconnect from anyone. Instead, we just want you to tell certain people never to contact you ever again. This is not Disconnection. This is just telling those people in your life who hate the Church and are spreading entheta about COB to please never call you, e-mail you, or write you letters.
We in RTC are so very much concerned about you that we do not want anyone putting entheta on your lines.For this reason, you must also agree to never use the internet without first obtaining permission in writing from OSA.
COB’s new 312 page policy makes the subject of internet usage very clear and all Scientologists are to M9 word clear this policy in order to remain in good standing.
Only by doing A-E as described above and joining the Sea Org can you provide an “Infinite Guarantee” that Scientology will always be around so come back to the Church today!