Church of Scientology Offers to Dispose of Your Dangerous Contaminated Cash As a Free Public Service

“Cash is trash,” declared Scientology money hygiene expert Ken Delusion. “Cash is so very dangerous and contaminated these days that it can literally kill you on contact.”

“For this reason, we in the Church of Scientology are sending our Decon7 Teams door-to-door in all cities and towns across the world to collect all of the contaminated money.”

“Scientology has long been expert at making dirty money disappear and so we know how to handle this vital public safety issue. Please have all of your cash ready when our Decon7 teams appear at your front door. Hand over the money and you and your loved ones will be safe from the pestilence of cash.”

4 replies »

  1. The Church of Scientology is to be commended for its public service in collecting dirty money.

    As the learned theologian and humanitarian Dr L Ron Haddock explained in Flag Mission Order 375: “Money, life insurance, houses, cars, stocks, bonds, college savings, all are transitory and impermanent .There is nothing to compare with donating all your money to me for Advanced Courses. They are infinitely valuable and transcend time itself.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Andrew, thank you for so wisely pointing out the true Humanitarian nature of our Founder, Dr. Hubbard. What other world (nay, guh-lax-ee) ecclesiastical leader would so selflessly offer up the priceless Advanced Courses to the unwashed masses grubbing around with their unwashed MEST? We are all out-exchange with this great thetan and should do a set of Lower Conditions just for the hell of it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We need cash for our daily needs. Why should we trash our cash for Scientology?We work hard to make a living.Scientologyy has a lot of cash donate it to the homeless.


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