Emperor Revoltingdrool of the Helotrobus Confederation aka David Miscavige

COB RTC David Miscavige — whose real galactic identity is Emperor Revoltingdrool of the Helotrobus Confederation — had promised the Marcabs a choice 1.4 acre site in Downtown Clearwater as a landing pad for Marcabian implanting ships. This land was the linchpin of a very secret RTC-Marcab exchange deal.

“The Marcabs need this land to build an enclosed shelter in which they can safely harvest the body parts of Scientology OT’s. The Marcabs desperately need BT-free OT body parts to fortify their DNA, weakened as it is by eons of Psych drugs,” declared RTC spokesthetan Ken Delusion.

“BT’s inherently crave Psych drugs,” explained Flag medical director Dr. Juan Diego San Kool de Menthol. “Therefore, the appeal of OT BT-Free DNA is that it can be transfused into Marcabs without any resultant cravings for more Psych drugs. Conversely, transfusing BT-laden wog DNA creates an even worse craving for Psych drugs.”

“In exchange for OT body parts,” Delusion commented, “the Marcabs had agreed to give Emperor Revoltingdrool their GEN 4 implanting equipment for exclusive use at Flag. This new GEN 4 implanting equipment can be used to raise donations to Scientology by 47,000%.”

“But then Emperor Revoltingdrool was betrayed by a Psych conspiracy between CMA and the City of Clearwater. The Marcabs are furious. They are demanding that Emperor Revoltingdrool ‘do whatever it takes’ to snatch back that parcel of land from the City of Clearwater.”

“Emperor Revoltingdrool is considering an ultimatum: If the City does not convey the land to the Church by 0700 hours this weekend, then Dianetiks Tanks Battalion #8 will once again be deployed in Clearwater to impose Emperor Revoltingdrool’s iron will upon the wog citizenry of the decadent kicked-in-head City of Clearwater!”