COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige today staged a a press conference in the rundown slum of Echo Park to express his ecclesiastical outrage at a billboard that paints the Church of Scientology in a false light.

“Scientology has no policy on Disconnection,” declared Mr. Miscavige. “It is all a matter of a personal choice of our parishioners. For example, I refuse to talk to my father because he has, apparently, wrote a book attacking me after, allegedly, I hired a pair of armed private investigators to secretly follow him for two years. But none of this is true. I never knew about any of this because I was too busy opening Ideal Orgs and rooting out malicious semicolons in the sacred texts of Scientology. A misplaced semicolon can literally kill you,” warned Mr. Miscavige.

“Nevertheless, I have chosen not to speak to my father until he cleans up his upsets with the Church, does steps A-E, and signs over the rights to his book to me and destroys all copies.”

“This sign in Echo Park is an attack on the Church of Scientology. The sign attempts to make Scientology appear to be an evil and vicious group that breaks up families by Disconnection. But this is just not the case. When we break up families it is only because it is the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics.”

“Moreover, the people from whom Scientologists choose to disconnect are SP’s. We in Scientology have a very strict doctrine prohibiting any association with SP’s. Factually, to refuse to disconnect from an SP is a suppressive act that results in an SP Declare — and once you’ve been declared an SP all Scientologists must disconnect from you because you’re an SP.”

“I trust this data clarifies Scientology’s policy on Disconnection.”