Dr. Frank Wonderman, CO INT Statcrash Police

Dr. Frank Wonderman, CO INT Statcrash Police, today announced that all of the execs of the Ideal Pacifica Bridge (AOLA, ASHO and LA Org) have been busted and were ordered imprisoned for fifty years each following a Comm Ev.”

“96 continuous hours of sec checking revealed  these Trotskyite Wreckers and Diversionaries to have been sent in by SMERSH in an attempt to destroy Scientology Organizations in Los Angeles,” declared Dr. Wonderman.

“The blasphemous criminals initially attempted to blame the massive statcrash in Los Angeles on the Church’s astronomical prices coupled with the public’s complete distrust and utter contempt for the Church of Scientology. From the mouths of these same filthy self-admitted liars and perjurers also came the claim that the public perceives the Church of Scientology as a cult! These are all clearly false lies, Marcab propaganda, and enemy Black PR. The proof is this: The Founder reliably informs us that the public is clamoring for Scientology!”

“Moreover, has not COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige, the Great Humanitarian himself, told us that Scientology is expanding at rates that only be measured in light year kilotons per microsecond? Yes he has. Why just last week at the grand opening of the Atlanta Ideal Org, I myself personally witnessed 3,000,000 people in attendance. The crowds were so great that we ran out of free pizza and had to order more. This is true.”

“The statcrash in Los Angeles, then, is an aberration, an exception, to the massive international Scientology expansion that is happening everywhere else across the nineteen continents and 15,901 countries of this planet.”

“A new management team has been installed in the Ideal Pacifica Bridge.”

“PAC Security has also been increased to keep the drug-using and syphilis-infested locals from the rundown slum of Echo Park away from the Ideal Pacifica Bridge.”