We in RTC vehemently object to Mike Rinder leaking details of Season Three of Scientology TV. Now we know why Mike keeps an SR-71 spy plane. Our sources reliably inform us that […]
Welcome to Scientology
Welcome to Scientology. We’ll begin by having you get rid of your suppressive family. BTW, you can’t watch ScientologyTheAftermath or we’ll declare you an SP!
Scientology Leader Orders Global Disconnection on August 15, 2017
“COB RTC has issued a global disconnection order for Tuesday August 15, 2017,” announced Church spokesman Mr. Ken Delusion. “All Scientologists globally are ordered to disconnect from WiFi, cable, satellite dishes and […]
Scientology & Disconnection
The Church of Scientology is pleased to announce its newest venture: Theta Movers. This full service moving company is here to service all your moving needs when OSA has ordered you to […]
The Psychiatric Illuminati Behind “Burning Man” Incinerate Mankind’s Only Hope of Salvation in a Scientology Witch Hunt
“Once again the Psychiatric Illuminati have attacked Mankind’s only hope of salvation when they burned Scientology scripture in their Scientology witch hunt,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “Freedom Magazine has discovered that […]
Scientology has no policy on Disconnection
COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige today staged a a press conference in the rundown slum of Echo Park to express his ecclesiastical outrage at a billboard that paints the Church of Scientology […]
The Tech Is Now 100% On-Source For the First Time!
Captain David Miscavige’s Long Awaited Memoirs Now Available from Bridge Publications International
From the book: “Scientologist Tom Cruise trembled as he approached the golden glittering IAS stage to receive the highest medal ever given to anyone in Scientology.” “He was in the presence of […]
Captain Miscavige Orders the Nuclear Option Against HBO!
We in the Church of Scientology are under attack by the amassed global forces of planetary suppression. Captain David Miscavige is in his RTC War Room handling the dire threat posed by […]
Holy Roman Catholic Church Copies Church of Scientology!
“The Church of Scientology has a magnificent new Cathedral in Florida,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion. “One of the more dramatic sculptures inside of our Cathedral,” Delusion noted, “depicts a translucent thetan […]