“In order to terminatedly handle wogs, haters, SP’s, and bitter defrocked apostates, we in the Church of Scientology have launched a massive PR offensive,” announced Church of Scientology spokesman Mr. Ken Delusion.
“Entitled ‘Nobody Gives A Fuck About You!’ this new campaign will serve to put Scientology haters in their place by implanting them with a wrong item; no one wants to feel they are not important.”
“Millions of angry and hostile IAS members are now fanning out across the globe to disseminate billions of NGAFAY booklets. Each NGAFAY booklet contains a simple nonreligious message explaining why Nobody Gives A Fuck About You!”
“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige promises that the NGAFAY program will confront and shatter suppression once and for all,” Delusion declared.