Church of Scientology Launches NGAFAY Campaign!

Jenny“In order to terminatedly handle wogs, haters, SP’s, and bitter defrocked apostates, we in the Church of Scientology have launched a massive PR offensive,” announced Church of Scientology spokesman Mr. Ken Delusion.

“Entitled ‘Nobody Gives A Fuck About You!’ this new campaign will serve to put Scientology haters in their place by implanting them with a wrong item; no one wants to feel they are not important.”

“Millions of angry and hostile IAS members are now fanning out across the globe to disseminate billions of NGAFAY booklets. Each NGAFAY booklet contains a simple nonreligious message explaining why Nobody Gives A Fuck About You!”

“COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige promises that the NGAFAY program will confront and shatter suppression once and for all,” Delusion declared.

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25 responses to “Church of Scientology Launches NGAFAY Campaign!

  1. My org is accepting guns and ammo as payment for NGAFAY booklet bundles to be handed out.

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  2. I feel better already. I had been thinking no one gave a flying fuck about me, but now that I know it’s just a simple fuck and not a flying fuck I will be able to sleep tonight. I know the booklet is working because my dog hasn’t barked since I read this headline.

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  3. All hail COB – an SP transcriptionist had originally printed NGASAU – or Nobody Gives A Shit About You. The SP has been offloaded and the proper LRH tech of NGAFAU has been implemented! Planetary Clearing is simply just a cycle of action away! As we say at the local org – we do give a shit but we don’t give a fuck

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  4. Hey OTVIIIisGrrr8, you forgot to make one featuring John Carmichael and his epic tagline. you know the one. I can see it now:

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JwJAvMS1wnE

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    • Hello CV!

      We in RTC quite agree that Reverend Carmichael’s memorable line has a place somewhere in our new Fall PR lineup.

      Of course, we thought Reverend Carmichael should’ve smelled Wog-Anonymous suppression. But no, he smelled pthuthy. We ordered him run in session on his item “I smell pthuthy.” He would not F/N on it and so was sent to Ideal Labor Camp Siberia where he continues to contemplate the magnitude of his enormous crimes against the Church and COB.

      BTW, COB says to say “hi” to you. He told us his feelings were very very hurt last week when you failed to show up at the IAS Gala. You know the rest of the story: He locked himself in his room when he got back here to Int Base.

      Like

  5. This may just be the church’s most brilliant campaign ever! It is sure to stop those rascally SPs and truly puts world clearing within reach!!!

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  6. Hey OTVIIIisGrrr8, maybe Jenny Linson’s ” ‘I know every inch of his body’,….and NGAFAY”, would have added more flavour;-) I’ve always thought that was a classic- the very depths of lunacy!

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  7. If you don’t like scientology – Fuck You!

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    • You seem to be low on “like” stats with your addition. If you don’t mind, please allow me to assist and qualify your contribution:

      “I look at those people and I say, ‘Bring it. I’m a Scientologist, man. What do you want to know?’ I don’t mind answering questions.”

      “Some people, well, if they don’t like Scientology, well, then, fuck you. Really. Fuck you. Period.”

      “If someone doesn’t want to be a criminal anymore, I can give them tools that can better their life. You have no idea how many people want to know what Scientology is.”

      “What Scientology is, is it addresses man as a spiritual being. Okay? And it gives people tools that they apply to their lives to improve conditions. And that is what it is.”

      “I wouldn’t be here today where I am (without it) and it is things that I apply to my life to help me improve my conditions that actually help me to be able to think for myself, to be able to make the decisions. I use it and I apply it and when you talk about things, those are lies. And really, when you get down to it, you know there are bigots. There are people that just want to hate, period. No matter what. Right?”

      “What it comes down to is, ‘What do you know?’ I don’t care about what other people say. I don’t live my life based on what other people think. I should do okay. I live my life based on what I know is right for myself . And what I care about is other people. And I care about my family and I care about the world and I wanna see it a better place. And I don’t care what people say. I know what Scientology is. It is extraordinary, what it has done.”

      OTLX – Tom Cruise

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  8. I´m just so glad Nurse Ratched is creating order and ensuring that scientologists across the globe are flourishing and prospering because of this new vital campaign!

    There has indeed never been a better time to be a scientologist!

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  9. Sometimes at this site, we are struck by power of transformation. Parody elevates to truth, and in so doing transforms “truth” to farcical parody.

    Seriously, which campaign embodies EVERYTHING Scientological …TWTH or NGAFAY?

    We congratulate RTC for their power in transforming farce to truth.

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  10. Why THANK YOU, Dodo!
    Just trying to do my best.

    With the advent of this new campaign, I´ve never been prouder to call myself a scientologist!

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  11. NGAFAY. LFBD FN VVGIs. Liberation!!!!! Freedom from the lie forevah!!!!!

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  12. For the moment we should all reflect on the greatness of COB for unearthing this vital tech to smash suppression.

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  13. Every Thursday, the last statement made when stats are turned in shall be Zero Fucks Given or ZFG.

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  14. I EXPERIENCED THIS: NGAFAY action when the “wasband” left me to love and love his cult and his present Scio dame! What a W I N !!!!!

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  15. But OT8, Nobody GAFA Scientology.

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  16. Totally Tone 40 Command Intention!! We’re really helping mankind!

    COB! NGAFAY! YSCOHB!

    I love our scientology acronyms! The new NGAFAY precepts have totally turned my life around 360°!!

    Like

  17. Nobody Gives A F$%& About You! = Noone CARES!

    Ohhh…! Nice try OSA to restimulate, upset and introvert…
    But the Truth is more along that line… https://tinyurl.com/caring-101

    Like

  18. Re: Entitled ‘Nobody Gives A Fuck About You!’ this new campaign will serve to put Scientology haters in their place…

    “It’s a God damned joke.”

    Like

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