The Church of Scientology and Our Policy of Lying

We in the Church of Scientology are frequently and constantly reviled and attacked for lying to the media, our critics, law enforcement, and even our own members.

What the media, the public, and our own members do not seem to understand are two basic facts:

* The Church of Scientology must survive.

* The Church of Scientology only does those things that are for the greatest good for the greatest number of our dynamics.

When telling lies enables the Church to survive, we in the Church of Scientology will quite happily tell lies as a pro-survival action. Lying makes logical sense if we as the most ethical group on the planet are to survive. That is evident even to COB’s dogs.  It is evident to you? Or are you one of those people who don’t want to survive and prosper? Are you an SP?

Our posh new Ideal Orgs are booming!
With over 55,183 new Ideal Orgs scattered
across the 15,901 countries of the world
there is an Ideal Org in your neighborhood.
Come on in for a free personality test!

The fact of the matter is that we practice drills to help both our parishioners and our elite Sea Org members to tell lies with a straight face.

We call our lies “acceptable truths” and they are quite acceptable to us.

While it is true that our lying has caused many contretemps such as the recent departure of actress Leah Remini from our ranks,  the fact is that each of these contretemps has caused SP’s to be exposed and flushed from our ranks. In this sense, our pro-survival pattern of chronic lying actually helps the Church of Scientology rid itself of SP’s.

We take every SP who leaves our ranks as a win. These people left because they could not confront our acceptable truths. Therefore, they were never real Scientologists in the first place. All of which is to say that Disconnection does not exist and it therefore stands to reason that the we in the Church of Scientology cannot practice something that does not exist.

From this factor it logically follows that COB RTC David Miscavige never beaten any Church member. That is the real lie being run on COB by the Psychs. And what we are after in the Church of Scientology is finding the real lies and not our acceptable truths upon which we have certainty.

Then again, each round of contretemps causes hidden SP’s in the media and online — who might otherwise remain hidden — to emerge from their drug dens, insane asylums, houses of prostitution, and jail cells in order to attack us online. Whereupon it becomes self-evident that the Church’s blatant tissue of lies allows OSA to flush SP’s from the underbrush and shoot them like fish in a barrel.

Scientology parishioners support the Church’s efforts to widely promote the UN’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights.This begs the question: Why are you a Church of Scientology hater?

When the Church of Scientology tells lies it is really no no different than talking a suicidal man off the edge of a bridge by agreeing with him that his dog talks to him. In other words, it is okay to lie to insane people to help them.

As all non-Scientologists and disaffected Scientologists are insane by definition, it is necessary and even praiseworthy for we in Church of Scientology to lie to them because our lies actually help them.

Something can be done about it and we are here to help you.

21 replies »

  1. You continue to exceed all expectations.
    Do not let your brilliance lead you to the Hunter S Thompson solution.
    We offer help in the independent field and we will actually listen to you.
    We realize that those voices in your head are doing their best to help you.


    • We would like to assure you that the only one voice in our head is COB’s screaming at us to destroy the internet.

      By our calculations we have destroyed .00123009 of the internet, this when we got a comment deleted off Facebook.

      Extrapolating the trend out, the Church of Scientology will destroy the internet in a scant 993 quadrillion years.


  2. Stupid wogs are stupid. We tell acceptable truths for their benefit not ours. When it becomes necessary for COB and his twin sister to murder a 20-year-old to ensure the survival of the Most Ethical Group on the Planet and Mankind’s Only Hope we tell them it is suicide thus preserving them from information in their pathetic wog way they would find shocking.,

    Besides it’s none of their goddamn business.

    But let’s not forget that COB courageously calls a spade a spade when he has to.

    If an SP is a cocksucker then COB calls him a cocksucker. When an SP is a motherfucker he calls him a motherfucker

    And when an SP is a cock sucking motherfucker he calls him a cock sucking motherfucker.

    You won’t find anyone more ethical than COB among wog leaders, I can tell you that.


  3. OTVIII, any word from our beloved COB RTC when the Stupor Powerz!(TM) building will be opened so that you in RTC can REALLY start all this horrid entheta Planetary Suppression? We need Stupor Poweredz(TM) Sciloontologists YESTERDAY to be handling all of us Suppresive Persons that are so enturbulating things here on Teegeeack for you all!

    Oh, one more thing, I accidently read the OTIII levels while on the Internet looking for video of the munchkin suicide in The Wizard of Oz. How can I avoid a terrible slow and horrid death from pneumonia or some other malady that I may have pulled in by not preparing myself? I may not have much time left! After all, it was nearly 3 years ago that I stumbled upon these sacred teachings that my meat sack was not prepared for!!! HELP ME!!!


  4. I meant Stop the Planetary Suppresion. You need an Edit button. Get on that quick. Because if COB becomes aware that comments cannot be edited, therefore making him look good, he’ll send you to the Hole. That does not exist……. 😀


    • We do have an edit function on this blog. You would be able to see it if you were not shoveling so many Psych drugs down your throat between massive bong hits. Narconon can help you.

      As for Super Power, COB and Tom Cruise are personally handling it so you know it will be perfect.


  5. Do you know when the Detroit org is going to open? We know they have a building. We may not be able to generate the substantial numbers most Ideal Orgs have (as illustrated by your example) but what we lack in numbers we make up for with apathy. So could you put in a word for us with COB? We would love for him to make a personal appearance here sometime!


    • The Detroit Ideal Org will open very soon, probably just as soon as we finish opening Super Power.

      Can you Scientologists in Detroit come in and help reno your Org or are you too apathetic, e.g, is your 3 case in restim? Are there other BI’s?

      We in RTC need to know the local sit so please write it up.


  6. I’m only trying to emulate the late, great Source with all that though, OTVIII……….. Are you telling me pinks and greys are no good for me? And the natural green is PTS for me? I must disconnect immidiately!

    Right after this bong hit 😉


  7. Apologies, I can’t find the Edit button………. Maybe I AM in need of an auditing session so my eyesight can improve and my Internet skillz become Tone 40?

    And, am I going to die? From OTIII materials? I don’t want to die of pnumonia 😥


  8. unitgx___sotherfist: Do you see EDIT to the far right of your screen name? If not, you will have to troubleshoot using the WordPress FAQ.

    Failing this, you can join the Sea Org and help us clear the planet. On second thought, as you are going to die very soon of pneumonia please don’t bother joining the Sea Org as dying on post would be Out PR.


  9. Ahhhhh ha! It wasn’t there earlier for some bizarre reason. It is now however. Thank you for using your OTness to find it for me!

    Also, that sucks. I really wanted to become the next Planetary Suppression Clear-er 😥
    *stocks up on Codral Cold’n’Flu*


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