OT SFV COMMITTEE ANNOUNCEMENT: Due to scheduling conflicts, Scientology Goodwill Ambassador Danny Masterson will be unable to speak at Saturday’s meeting of STAND.
SFV OT COMMITTEE ANNOUNCEMENT
The New Scientology One Credit Card
The new Scientology One card. Pay for your OT levels on credit at a low rate of 28.6% monthly. Your children are required as collateral.
Ideal Org Romania for Ex-Communist Scientologists Now Open
“The new Scientology Ideal Org Romania for Ex-Communist Scientologists is now open,” declared Commissar Frank Wonderman, CO for Eastern European and Russia. “Thus far, however, no Sea Org have reported for duty […]
Long Island at the Epicenter of Scientology Planetary Expansion!
Led by Patron Triple Scoop, Diamond Laureate Excelsius IAS, and New OTVIII William “Big Billy” Parks, the Long Island OT Committee is at the epicenter of Scientology Planetary Expansion. “As you can […]
The Freewinds Crippled and Adrift in the Ocean!
“The MV Freewinds has run out of fuel, electrical power, and food somewhere between Aruba and Cartagena,” reported Commander Ken Delusion of the Scientology Maritime Bureaux. “The ship is now drifting aimlessly […]
Jesus Christ Scientologist
“If Jesus Christ were alive today he would be a Scientologist,” declared Scientology OT John Travolta. “I say this because a person can be a Scientologist and still practice their own religion.” […]
OT IX and OT X to be Released Soon!
“COB will soon release OT IX and OT X,” enthused Dr. Frank Wonderman, the Executive Director of OT Nirvana Services at Flag Land Base. “And by way of lifting the curtain on […]
Church of Scientology Now Offering the Super Power Levitation Rundown
Way back on the wholetrack, levitation was something we could all routinely do. Levitation was in fact how the pyramids were built. But then something happened — and we all lost our […]
Launch of Super Power and GAT II to be World’s First “On the Cans Only” Event!
After months of extensive preparation, we in RTC can now announce that next week’s launch of Super Power and GAT II will be the world’s first “On the Cans Only” event. Each […]
DAVID MISCAVIGE ORDERS: “#@&^* PICK UP THE PHONE WHEN WE CALL YOU FOR GAT II AND SUPER POWER!”
COB RTC David Miscavige is furious with Scientology parishioners for refusing to pick up their phones when Flag or their local Org calls them to confirm their attendance at the most important […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 